Attack on Titan Fanfiction – The Stowaway: Chapter 2

Curse of Clan Ackermann

Two and a half years ago

“Aaaaaanghghrh…mggggghhh….aaaaargghhh…mngggghhh…” 

The sound of loud, racking sobs punctuated by wailing filled the queen’s private chamber. Mikasa laid her head on Queen Historia’s lap, clutching her own belly and weeping like there was no tomorrow. 

The queen held the sobbing woman in her arms, stroking the jet black hair, trying to think of what to say. She was weeping, too, weeping about the horrible, awful thing she had to reveal to Mikasa. The awful, horrible thing her ancestors had done to their clan. There was nothing the queen could say except, “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” over and over again.

A few hours ago, Mikasa sat on the queen’s couch and grasped some ancient documents in her hands. She couldn’t read them, but the Head Librarian, Gustaf Schreiber, had provided a translation in modern Eldian. 

It was all there, the truth about Clan Ackermann. 

They were able to unearth the secret documents thanks to a dream that came to Levi one night. The following day he insisted they dig up under the main chair in the Throne Room of the royal palace. Queen Historia was shocked at first, but she believed Levi. There was something about dreams and the holders of the Nine Titans: knowledge and even foreknowledge was passed on from one holder to the next via these mysterious dreams. She knew what that had been like because Eren Jaeger had told her. 

The Ackermanns themselves were titans in human form. That’s why they were also plagued by strange memories and dreams.

So on Levi’s behest the queen called in the builders and had them remove the symbol of royalty and dig underneath it. It took them three days to reach the box buried underneath. The scrolls that came out were hundreds of years old, hidden there by King Fritz when he walled himself and a portion of his people on the island more than a century ago. 

Queen Historia had always thought the documents about the ancient clans had been destroyed for good, in order to protect the secrets they held within their pages. But no. It had been right here all along, under the very chair on which she sometimes sat on and held court. 

It was early in the evening and Levi arrived at the palace shortly. He’d seen and read the documents the day before, hovering impatiently behind Schreiber while the scholar translated them.

Tonight, kneeling in front of the chaise longue where Mikasa lay supine with her head on the queen’s lap, Levi gently stroked the raven locks, caressed the wet cheek with the back of his fingers. He took out his handkerchief and tried to wipe away her tears, but they just kept on falling, even if she’d been crying for…how many hours already? 

Both Mikasa and the queen looked ghastly, eyes red and puffy. Mikasa’s sobbing and wailing had quieted down, and all that could be heard was a low, whimpering sound: “Uuuuuuuugh…” 

It had to be the most painful, most pitiful sound he’s ever heard in his life. 

It was the sound of a woman whose dreams have been taken away from her. It was the sound of a woman who believed her dream had been shattered and who might as well be dead. It was the sound of a woman who thought she no longer had a reason to live.

What could he say, really? What could he say to this soldier whose big, violet eyes had turned into overflowing fountains of tears? She had a deeply pained, devastated look on her face and it broke his heart, which already broke yesterday after Schreiber finished his translation. 

“I’m so sorry, Mikasa,” he said softly, cupping her cheek in his hand, wishing there were words out there that could alleviate her pain even just a little. He knew she was coming to a realisation: that nothing was ever free. Everything had a price. Their supersoldier skills? They paid a price for it. A very heavy price. 

What can he say to the fact that he’d somehow known all along at the back of his mind, thanks to his interactions with his uncle, Kenny Ackermann? Kenny must have told him in veiled hints, but either he was too young to understand or simply pretended not to care. But when the dream came to him that fateful night, it was plainly too clear and straightforward for him to ignore.

So there they were, in the royal palace, the last of the Ackermanns. Just the two of them. Because there wouldn’t be any more of them. Not ever. Soon Clan Ackermann will become extinct.

That was what came to him in the dream, the revelation backed up by the discovery of the hidden scrolls, the location of which also came to him in that dream. The scrolls detailed the secret of how the Ackermanns came into being and made one thing clear: that the Ackermanns were the result of years of genetic experiments with Eldians and titanized Eldians. Somehow the ancient scientists managed to cross a titanized Eldian with a non-titanized Eldian, resulting in the Ackermann line: Eldians exhibiting titan abilities while remaining in their human form. 

By order of the king, the scientists manipulated the genes so that there were two types of Ackermanns: those who had the power to Awaken, and those that did not. The first type was created to become perfect fighting machines, elite soldiers without a single flaw, able to inherit their combat abilities from their ancestors. These became the personal bodyguards of the royal family, a very special breed of warriors with supreme dedication to their task, whose single purpose in life was to serve and protect. The other type, the lesser yet equally important variety, were the non-awakening Ackermanns. Their purpose was to breed.

And therein lay the caveat. In order to fulfill his duties with one thousand percent dedication, an Awakened Ackermann became sterile at the moment he awakened. 

This was necessary, the Head Scientist declared in the documents, because having a family would distract the perfect soldier from his duties. Instead of focusing every fiber of his being on protecting the King, he’d be thinking of his spouse, his children, his grandchildren. That was completely unacceptable, because the perfect bodyguard should be able and willing to lay down his life for the King, at a moment’s notice, without an ounce of hesitation. If this human-form titan valued anyone more than the king, then his perfection as a fighting machine would be compromised. 

That was what was written in the scrolls, in cold, precise, scientific terms. But there is no such thing as a perfect genetic manipulation project. The documents also readily admitted that the Ackermanns were basically a mistake, a failure in that the scientists couldn’t replicate their methods with great success. What resulted was a line of potential super soldiers wherein there was no way of knowing who would awaken and become a fighting machine, and who would remain as they are to become breeders. 

For hundreds of years this randomness worked just fine: some awakened and laid down their lives for the king, while those that didn’t awaken fulfilled their duty of breeding more Ackermanns. This would have worked just fine for many more generations, but after King Fritz fled to the island and had a major falling out with the then head of Clan Ackermann, the breeder types were killed off one by one, while the Awakened Ackermanns also died, when they lost the will to live.

And so there was just him left now, and this weeping woman who wanted to die. Already he could feel the lifeforce slowly ebbing out of her.

“Are you alright, Captain?” Queen Historia asked him right after the scrolls were translated. Mouth hanging open in shock, her eyes brimmed with tears when she read through the pages. Reaching out a hand to touch his arm, she said, “I can’t express enough how sorry I am. I did this to you…my ancestors did this to you. I’m so, so sorry.” The queen began to weep. So Levi took her in his arms and held her, comforting her. 

But wait, why was he doing the comforting? Shouldn’t she be comforting him? Well, he told himself, I don’t need any comfort because I actually couldn’t care less. He was going to convince himself it didn’t matter.

It was a good thing they found the scrolls, he thought, because things started to make sense. When he was a child, he remembered Kenny, who was far from celibate, bringing a woman every now and then into their house. From Kenny’s bedroom door came out weird sounds, and child Levi could hear them going at it. 

“Fill me with your cum!” the woman would scream, and Kenny would be shouting just as loud, “Take it, bitch, take all of it!” as he emptied himself inside her. 

Despite all the women his uncle slept with, however, not one of them came back with a baby in her arms claiming patrimony and demanding that he pay his share of child support. The following morning the women would always be gone early, and Kenny at the breakfast table would wink at him and droll, “The good thing about me being me is I don’t have to worry about the consequences.”

Levi had no idea what that meant then, but now it all became clear. Sex without consequences. How convenient! Unless, of course, you actually wanted to spawn.

“I’m so sorry, Captain Levi,” Queen Historia looked at him with mournful blue eyes. 

“Don’t worry about me,” he said dismissively, and then added in jest, “I only wish I’d known earlier. All that pulling out I’d had to do. Should’ve just creampied all them women with nary a care in the world.”

Queen Historia took a step back, staring at him with great sadness. He could see how she thought he was simply putting up a front, trying to be brave, in hopes that the braggadocio would hide his indescribable sorrow. 

“No, really, I’m fine,” he said. “It’s the other Ackermann we should be worried about.”

The other Ackermann. Here she was now, weeping endlessly, broken, inconsolable. 

But the scrolls made sense to her, too. Mikasa always wondered why her father had been so easily hacked down by the human traffickers. For the years she’d known him, he seemed like any other run-of-the-mill dad, exhibiting neither extraordinary fighting skills nor superhuman strength. She asked Levi about his mother and was told that she, too, seemed as ordinary as they come. Finally Mikasa understood why. Her father, as well as Levi’s mother, were the breeder type of Ackermann. 

But she awakened, Levi awakened, his uncle Kenny had awakened. They were the warrior type, transforming into elite soldiers, the perfect fighting machines. And they did their duty, too, all according to their genetic destinies. Kenny protected Uri Reiss until it was time for him to transfer his titan powers to his niece, Frieda. Levi protected Erwin Smith, who was ultimately responsible for finding out about Krista Lenz’s true identity and installing her as rightful heir to the throne. And Mikasa, she protected Eren and Historia, too. 

Yes, the scrolls explained everything. It explained why, when she and Eren and the rest of the 104th learned the truth about Historia and they raced to Utgard Castle to find and secure her, Mikasa felt a terrible sense of danger and spurred her horse as fast as it could go, flying ahead of everyone else. She was right about the extreme danger, for there she was, the royal progeny Historia, about to be eaten by a titan. Mikasa swooped in and cut down the titan just in time, saving the future queen. 

That wasn’t the only time in which she felt this terrible urge to protect Historia. The other time was inside the Reiss cave, when Eren was chained down for titan transfer purposes. But she didn’t run to Eren like everyone assumed she’d do. Mikasa flew down to get a hold of Historia before her head fatally hit the roof of the cave during that massive blast caused by Rod’s transformation. It was a lightning-quick move that saved the future queen’s life. Again.

And she wasn’t even close to Historia. Mikasa had always been jealous of her, jealous of the connection she had formed with Eren, jealous of her petite, luminous, conventional blonde, blue-eyed beauty that enchanted everyone in the academy: Ymir, Armin, Reiner, even Jean. 

But none of that mattered when it came to protecting her. She felt danger on the royal’s behalf, and she reacted as an awakened Ackermann should. 

Maybe it was also why she was so bent on protecting Eren. She’d been in love with him, of course, but it wasn’t just that. Eren was bound by fate to be the father of Queen Historia’s children. No wonder she wouldn’t let him die. He was Eren, the boy she loved and wanted to keep safe, but inside him was the spirit of a Reiss, the royal she wanted to protect. 

And therein lay the true powers of the Awakened Ackermanns. They weren’t compelled to perform their duties. They weren’t forced to do it. What made them truly special was that they desired to protect. The curse heightened their want to protect. Wanting to do something was far, far more powerful than being coerced. Because when free will is involved, there is no stopping the decision-maker.

This yearning was what ultimately made the Ackermanns truly powerful. It was what made them near invincible.

Mikasa first saved Eren’s life when together they took down the human traffickers who killed her parents and then tried to take her away. For that entire year when she became his adoptive sister living under the Jaeger roof, she protected Eren because he was Eren and she loved him. Her protecting him was borne out of pure love, on her part. But after he inherited his titan powers from Grisha Jaeger, things became much more complicated. Mikasa continued to protect him, first because he was Eren, whom she loved, but second because he now hosted inside him the royal family’s spirit in the form of the Founder Titan. 

Unaware of it at that time, she still somehow knew deep down there was something else to her feelings, her urge to protect. That’s why she couldn’t come up with a decent answer when Eren asked her in Marley what he meant to her. He was her reason for living, he was her everything, he was the very air she breathed, but for some inexplicable reason she couldn’t tell him that. He was family, she said, completely mortified about being asked. The truth was that he was her love, but also her adoptive brother, and worst of all, the vessel of a royal. It made everything so complicated.

A Calling, the scrolls called it. It was the Calling of an Awakened Ackermann to serve and protect whoever it was they decided to bind themselves to. Most of the time, as per design, they chose to bind themselves to the Eldian monarch.

Mikasa, too, answered to that calling. No one made her. She essentially volunteered. She could bail out anytime. But she chose not to. Ugh. How perplexing and convoluted. 

And to become someone worthy of that calling, she was transformed. A lean, mean, fighting machine, the perfect warrior. They were untouchable, the awakened Ackermanns. Indeed, they could live forever if they wanted to. But Kenny, Levi said, lost the will to live and willingly gave up the ghost. It was only when an awakened Ackermann decided to die that he died.

For that immense power, they paid a heavy price. The awakened Ackermanns, they were all of them sterile. Infertile. Barren, when it was a woman in question.

Kenny had no progeny. Nor did Levi. Nor will she. Not now, not ever. It was the curse of Clan Ackermann.

Mikasa processed all of these in her mind because her heart had broken into a million pieces after she finished reading the documents. She knew it was only a matter of time before she was going to lose her mind.

Thank you so much for reading! Please consider sharing a thought or two in the comment section below. Your comments give me life and are a real source of encouragement. xoxo, hana

Next – Chapter 3: Heavenly Train Ride

Back – Chapter 1: Angel of the North

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