Fate and Hope
The birds started to sing. It was well before sunrise when Eren opened his eyes. They dozed off and then fell asleep once more after the early morning love-making.
He stood up, looking outside the window, taking in the rolling meadows. It was pleasantly quiet, tranquil. But he knew that work started early on a farm. Soon the rooster will crow. Soon the place will come alive with the sounds of bustling people and baying of farm animals.
His eyes drifted to Historia’s sleeping form. How relaxed and peaceful she looked. He marveled at her beauty. Beautiful on the outside, without a doubt. But what he loved most of all was her inner strength. She had a resilience to her, one that never failed to amaze him.
He padded soundlessly back to her, gently resting his head on her belly. She stirred, still asleep but entwining her fingers in his hair. Eren gazed at her face, ruminating.
It was frightening how much he cared for her. No other woman brought out this feeling of protectiveness. Was it a weakness, or a strength?
He didn’t know. All he knew was that he was willing to destroy the whole world, rewrite history, brutally rip up the entire fabric of the universe, if that’s what it took to keep her safe. He would willingly commit the greatest crime in the history of humankind, the most unimaginable evil, if that’s what it took to protect her.
And his child inside her.
I will protect you both with my life, he swore.
“I love you, Eren,” she had told him last night, before they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
“I love you, too, Historia,” he had replied. In this lifetime and far beyond.
Rays from the rising sun streamed through the window and on the queen’s face, highlighting the long, curling blonde lashes, making them glisten like spun gold. Her cheeks were rosy, the skin on her neck and shoulders all creamy and glowing. Beneath the blanket he could see the outline of her sweet breasts, the tiny waist he loved to circle his hands around, the feminine curve of her hips, the shapely legs and perfect pink toes. For long moments he gazed at her flat tummy that would soon swell with child.
Eren drank in her beauty and sighed. I will come back—tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, as long as it takes, my beloved queen—and make love to you again and again until we are certain you are pregnant with my child.
He ought to leave soon, but seeing her like that on the bed made him want to stay. He crawled back between the sheets and gathered her in his arms. Historia stirred, sighing in her sleep, burrowing her face into the crook of his neck.
Was it fate the brought them together? This child of sorrow maturing into the most exquisite young woman he’d ever met, and him, a boy born in love and growing up to love so much it hurt.
Historia murmured in his arms, a smile on her lips, as if she was having a nice dream. He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled her scent. Suddenly he remembered that time at the royal palace, when they had a meeting with the Azumabito clan. Historia was ecstatic having learned about Mikasa’s aristocratic background. She was smiling, delighted at their newfound similarity.
“You look happy,” Eren had noted. The queen replied in the affirmative, the smile on her face genuine.
That smile, Eren recalled. It was like a ray of sunshine filtering through the dark clouds on a gloomy day. The blue in those happy eyes was like a patch of sky, a clearness that brought hope of sunny weather on a rainy, cloudy afternoon. Historia had no idea how much strength he derived from that smile. He had been drawn to her then, more than ever, swearing in his heart that he will do everything to keep that smile on her face.
Splaying a large hand over her belly, he lets himself fantasise–for just a few moments–of what it would be like to be with Historia in another time and place. How pleasant it would be to love her in days of peace, days spent indulging in a variety of sexual delights, hours filled with tenderness and intimacy. Last night and just this morning he saw her sexual passions unleashed. He loved it. Imagine a lifetime of that.
Then he let himself fantasise even further. Would their child be a he or a she, or perhaps a they? Blonde like mum or brunette like dad? Green eyes or blue, or one of each? Will they be petite like mum or tall like dad? What would it feel like, to hear the baby says the words “Daddy” for the first time? The mere thought of it brought tears to his eyes.
Deeper into fantasyland he went. Would their child be a happy, energetic one, whip smart and full of curiosity? He imagined warm family dinners before a blazing fire in winter, of picnics held outdoors during summer and spring. Maybe the child could become friends with Jean and Mikasa’s kids, and they’d run around in the park, laughing and playing together, jumping up and down in a pile of leaves on a cool autumn day. Along with Connie’s kids, of course. And Armin’s, too, should he chose to have them. They’d be one big rambunctious group, a large, extended family full of happy children and doting parents.
How wonderful it would be to raise a family together, watching their children grow in a household brimming with affection and laughter.
Eren was certain Historia was going to make a great mother. Despite her painful upbringing, she had it in her to overcome the extreme trauma of it. Watching her interact with the children at the orphanage, it delighted him the way she spent not just time with the naughtily adorable smaller kids but also the moody, angry, bigger ones. In fact, she went out of her way to be a patient mentor to them, teaching them some of the emotional and social skills which a childhood of neglect left them without.
More than anyone, Historia knew what it was like to face the bottomless, harrowing, agonizing pit of being unwanted and abandoned. And now she was doing all she can to keep other children from facing the same trauma alone.
One time he expressed his admiration for her, and she looked at him and said, “Do you remember that time you told me you liked the new, brutally frank Historia and not the old, artificially sweet Krista? I’ve never forgotten those words. When Ymir left me I thought I couldn’t bring myself to care about anything anymore. But you reached out to me. I’m here now, being who I am and becoming what I want to be, because of you.”
That ordinary conversation they had years ago remained vivid in her memory. Historia was grateful to him, and he to her. It was mutual gratitude borne out of mutual respect.
Ah, he loved her. How he loved her. She was lovely and fearless and kind and, during the rare times when she bared to you her soul, fiercely vulnerable. Something about her touched the core of his being.
All the things they could create together, the projects they could plan and build and finish together. All the inside jokes they could lob at each other, the gentle teasing, the vast resources of smiles and laughter.
If only there was such a future for them.
The thought of a family with Historia filled him with the deepest, wildest of joys. But the thought of leaving her and their child at the end of his titan shifter’s lifespan filled him with the deepest, most profound of sorrows.
With his beloved in his arms, Eren had fallen into a deep reverie. Joy mingling with grief, a happiness so brief and ephemeral it was like the blink of an eye in the infinite stretch of history. Joy was but the beginning of sorrow, wasn’t it? For the likes of him, as it were. Such was his fate. A fate he had created for himself.
He sighed, the pale morning light casting graceful masculine shadows on his knitted brows.
Stop ruminating, he reprimanded himself. Put things in perspective, he intoned within. Never let your grief of a lost future for yourself distract you from the impossible task that needs to get done, the mission you alone can fulfill. You may not live long, but your child shall. If you have the guts to carry through with your master plan, that is. Fight, Eren, fight.
He must not let the fact that he and Historia couldn’t grow old together bring him down. What truly mattered was something else.
What mattered most, what he needed to hold onto the most, was the deep understanding they felt for each other, including the understanding of the harsh truth that sometimes, in order to create good one had to do the most unspeakable of evils. Sometimes, in order to build one had to destroy. She understood that, and it helped him.
Helped him strengthen his resolve to become the Devil himself, so that Historia and their child, his angels on earth, could have a life of freedom. Not just the royal family, but also their precious chosen family: their 104th friends and Scouting Regiment colleagues.
He and Historia would have to come up with a lie to tell the MPs about the paternity of the baby. If they find out he’s the father, they might hold Historia hostage and use her as a bargaining chip to manipulate him and control his behaviour. That was totally unacceptable.
He’d also have to lie to his beloved friends. What he planned to do required unimaginable amounts of disinformation, deceit, cruel manipulations.
He was going to become the epitome of evil.
He didn’t want his precious friends to grapple with the moral quandaries such an act would bring. He didn’t want their conscience to suffer. He didn’t want them to grieve for him. Being hated was better, because it made saying goodbye easier.
Eren had taken it upon himself to bear the burden alone. But not really. This darling woman in his arms, the queen, had chosen to bear the burden with him. It was all he needed.
He got up and dressed. Leaning over her to cup her cheek in his hand, he bent his head to brush her lips with a kiss. Very softly he closed the door behind him.
There’s plenty of work to be done, he thought, as his mind went through the steps he needed to take to carry out his master plan all the way to its ruthless end.
That’s it for this story. Thank you so much for reading! Please please please take a moment to say hi in the comment section below. It’s so lonely and discouraging to find out I haven’t got any readers. Your comments are the only way I know my stories are getting read. Even just one sentence from you will give me the encouragement I need to keep on writing. Feel free to use a pseudonym and dummy email address. Please say something—anything at all—just to let me know you’ve finished reading! Comments do mean the world to me. THANKS in advance! xoxo, hana
If you enjoyed the story and have come here via Archive of Our Own (AO3), please leave kudos there to help improve the story’s ranking. Thank you! xoxo, hana
Back – Chapter 3: More to Give
See the List of All Fanfic Stories
Other Eren x Historia Stories
For a longer, more nuanced Eren x Historia love story / erehisu fanfiction, read my 7-chapter piece, The Storyteller (Warning: NSFW. Contains depictions of non-consent / reluctance as well as pregnant sex)
I’ve made a list of my Favourite Erehisu Resources. Let me know yours and I’ll add it to the list!
This story has been translated into Russian, with my permission, by peanuts_canon. Click here to read in the Russian language.
it’s amazing how much better this chapter reflects the real themes of attack of the Titans than the original manga. and it also reveals logically Eren’s motives for fighting and doing whatever he’s going to do. It looks and feels like a real canon. Great job!
Hi Alice! Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment. It really means a lot to me especially now that the manga is over and we are left with that totally disappointing and dissatisfying final chapter. It’s always lovely to know there are mutuals out there, like-minded people who feel the canon ending could have been so much more❤️
I hope you’ll read my other erehisu fanfic stories as well. If you liked The Queen’s Lover then you might also enjoy The Storyteller, another take on the couple, with their relationship starting earlier and ending with the birth of their daughter.
Thank you once again, and happy reading!
I do not speak English but I wanted to say how incredible this is, thank you and please continue, although in the end the Erehisu did not turn out to be cannon I will continue to love it please keep writing about them, thank you
Thank you so much, Aly_JR! It really means a lot to me that you took the time to comment, especially now that the manga is finished and we all know the unsatisfying ending. I really appreciate the kind words! Me, too, I’ll always regard erehisu as one of my favourite ships in AoT, and it doesn’t really matter whether they’re canon or not. In my heart, Eren and Historia are together<3
I hope you'll read my other fanfic stories as well; The Storyteller is another take on erehisu and longer than The Queen’s Lover. I think you’ll enjoy it! 🙂
OMG THIS IS SO GOOD PLEASE!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND LIVE TOGETHER BUT YAMS JUST WON’T LET THEMM SJKHAKJ THANK YOU FOR THIS!! <3
Hi chels! Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment<3 Yams is cruel, isn't he? He just titanized my favourite AoT character (Jean), turned Mikasa into a necrophile, titanized the rest of the Eldians... the list goes on. Let's keep on hoping Historia will safely give birth in the final chapter and that Eren will free the baby (and reveal himself to be the father)!
OMG this was such a cute story from start to beginning 🥺🥺 I really enjoyed the whole thing! I’ll definitely go back and leave more thorough reviews on all of your chapters 🙂 but I really liked the development. From the beginning to now, them being angry and realizing they both want the same things to the smut. The chemistry was on point and you did a good job at writing both chars! Erens super difficult to write after time skip bc we rarely see his POV or even know what’s going on but you did such a good job. I loved it sm. Sad to see this be the end but I hope I read more from you!
Hi Veraaa! Thank you so, so much for the wonderful comment! You made my day<3 Nothing would make me happier if you leave a comment after every chapter. It's what I live for, meeting and chatting with fellow, like-minded manga fans<3
Yes, indeed, Eren had been incredibly difficult to flesh out post-time skip as he had no internal monologue for the longest time. I tried to put myself in his shoes, from the perspective of a Hisu stan, and came up with an Eren who is willing to destroy the world just so his queen and their baby could have a shot at a better life. It's an Eren I'd have loved and understood and cheered for, even if I personally think no one should have the right to flatten the entire world save for a small island.
I originally wrote the story as them coming together for only one night and Hisu magically getting pregnant just that one time, but then an erehisu fan really wanted more love and more tenderness for both of them, so I added a line implying he visited her a few more times. But still, I felt it wasn't enough so I wrote another fanfic, The Storyteller. There’s just so much that this beautiful couple has to offer if we let our imaginations run wild! 🙂
love this too! you’re a wonderful writer. the manga is so sad, i really like your stories better, lol!
Thank you so much! Plenty of sadness and grief in the manga right now, isn’t there? It hurts to see our beloved characters always suffering. I love them all so much I do all I can to give them happy endings xD Or at least, just lots and lots of joyful moments. Let’s hope the canon ending will be more sweet than bitter!
awesome story, it was a very good read.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, and for the kind words! I’m glad you liked the story. I hope you’ll read my other works as well.
Hi! I am still new in this ship and i actually just finished watching aot. Erehisu grabbed my attention and they looked simply good together :”) you have no idea how grateful and happy i am to find this fic of yours. Thank you so much for the hard work and i hope this ship can get even more love from people cuz… is it just me or erehisu is quite underrated? Anyway, hoping to meet more erehisu shippers so i can fangirl about them without being judged lmao. Have a nice day to you!
Hi Irene! Thank you so much for your lovely comment, and welcome to the erehisu shippers brigade (or whatever it is we are called xD). I’m so glad you found Eren x Historia a couple you could root for. For me, their relationship is one of the backbones of the entire AoT story and thus one of the most important. Unfortunately, as you pointed out, it isn’t a massively popular ship in the fandom, which is a real pity because if there’s anyone who truly gets Eren, it’s Historia. Too bad a lot of people can’t see this for a fact, but you and I and our other like-minded friends have great taste and know better 😉
I hope you’ll get around to reading my other erehisu fanfic, The Storyteller. It’s longer and more nuanced than this one, taking their relationship further back than that momentous conversation on the farm. I also made a list of my Favorite Erehisu Resources, which features works by other writers and artists.
Please feel free to browse my blog and comment on anything at all. I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions and questions, even if they’re just one-liners. Comments from wonderful readers like you make my day, and make all the writing worthwhile <3 xoxo - hana
Muchas gracias por el fanfiction, como fan de Erehisu lo disfrute bastante 💖
Muchas gracias por el comentario. Agradezco las amables palabras. ¡Viva la solidaridad erehisu!💞
This was very good and I enjoyed each chapter thoroughly 😉 I know this works in canon, but have you considered writing a smut piece when she’s pregnant and showing? Would be super hot. Thanks for writing!
Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed the story. I’m actually working on another erehisu piece but it’s taking me forever because I’m making things difficult for myself: I want to frame their love story as an epic one, a great, legendary, heartbreaking love story that took two thousand years to come to fruition. Something like that! xD I’ve already written most of the angst+smut part, but haven’t made any progress in the preggers sex part. To make the timeline canon compliant I’ll have to make up some story of him sneaking in to see her while she’s heavily pregnant, or bringing her up to Paths or something. I wonder if Paths sex is possible? xD
I really appreciate your comment, and am hoping you’ll read and comment on my other stories as well. Comments are my main source of encouragement but since I get so few, I’m finding it hard to muster the energy to keep on writing.
Great, Hana! I’ve enjoyed every word of Eren’s thoughts. I hope that damned Isayama allowed us to enjoy this couple made canon.
Thanks! I will be totally devastated if erehisu doesn’t become canon. I love Historia so much that if the manga ends up with her fucking some nameless, faceless guy in order to get pregnant then I will definitely riot! I think I’ll end up throwing away all my manga volumes if it turns out the baby isn’t Eren’s xD
I came here from ao3. There aren’t many Erehisu fics, so I’m glad I found yours, especially because it’s so well-written! I wish something similar would happen in the manga haha. I’ll definitely be coming back to re-read it and to read any new ones you might post.
Hi Hikari! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! Your kind words mean a lot. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. It’s true, there aren’t enough erehisu fanfics out there. There really should be more! I love the pairing: Eren and Hisu are so right for each other and it breaks my heart that the majority can’t see that 🙁 In the latest manga chapters Isayama-sensei spent time establishing Armin x Annie; we now know the feeling is mutual and aruani is finally canon. I do hope that in the coming chapters we’ll get something official on erehisu and jeankasa/jeanmika. I mean, c’mon! It would be too sad for me if it’s just Armin who gets his love while the other boys are left out in the cold.
Thank you once again for your lovely comment. I do hope to write some more erehisu stories but I really need signs of encouragement from the manga xD Let’s keep on hoping Isayama-sensei won’t disappoint us in the end!
omg hana, it’s sunday morning and i think i’m about to cry! xD i really love how you captured eren’s feelings throughout this chapter! 😀💖
Here’s a tissue, here’s my shoulder, let’s have a good cry 🙂 Thank you so much for reading and commenting. It really means a lot to me. I’m beginning to sound like a broken record telling you this but it really, truly does make me happy and encourages me to keep on writing.
For a long time since the time skip I’ve been struggling to put Eren’s perspective into words. I understood what he was doing but because we were kept in the dark for months about his thoughts/POV, I didn’t know how to express exactly what he was feeling. But Chapter 130 made a lot of things so clear. Finally!
What I’m hoping next is that titan Eren will be able to have conversations with the 104th and also the veterans.
What are you hoping to see in the next manga chapter (131)?
hi hana! i didn’t answer because i had no idea what to expect from chapter 131 tbh 🙁 but less than ten minutes ago i finished reading it and omg! it was a roller coaster of emotions.
i don’t know about you, but the whole part of the destruction and the children broke my heart into a thousand pieces! and seeing eren equally devastated by the decision he made also helped to destroy my poor heart even more lol
on the other hand, that little moment between armin and annie could calm my internal pain a little haha but still it followed that atmosphere of anguish… honestly i am the same as in chapter 130, i don’t know what to expect from chapter 132! i feel that the wait will be eternal!
what do you think of this chapter? what are your expectations for the next one? kisses and hugs from argentina!
Myri! Welcome back! Sorry for not replying sooner. I was waiting for the original Japanese version to come out before publishing my review. It’s up on the blog now! I hope you can find time to read—it’s kinda long xD For me, it was a great chapter filled with signs of hope. I’ve grown even more convinced that Armin will really be the one to save Eren and the world 🙂
Guess what? From tomorrow our summer vacation will start. It’s called “obon-yasumi” in Japanese and normally we people in the city go home to the countryside to see relatives and do “ohaka-mairi” (visit the graves). But this year, due to COVID-19, the government has discouraged travelling. So I’ll have an entire week to spend in self-isolation, ahaha! What should I write? I was thinking of aruani but haven’t really thought of him in a hetero relationship! I know he likes Annie but in Japan I feel Armin is usually shipped with Eren or Jean (BL heart eyes). I also ship him with them because I’m a fujoshi xD I wonder what Armin will be like in bed with a girl? Do you think he’ll be super sweet or be Gesumin? xD
i really enjoyed reading your review! i also think that armin will lead a really big role for the end, and i’m very anxious to see how everything will end (but at the same time i don’t want because i can’t imagine my life without snk lol)
i hope you can rest on this vacation! 🙂 i have two weeks of winter break left so i’ll take all this time to procrastinate lol
and speaking of armin, to be honest, when i started watching snk two years ago i was very intrigued by their relationship (? but since isayama decided to freeze her for so long i stopped thinking about them hahaha
omg! jean and armin that’s hot lolololol
i never really thought about what he would be in bed with a woman… but he is a box of surprises so i wouldn’t be surprised if he can go from an all honeyed, sweet and romantic boy to a dom (not jean or eren level) but can make things rough lol
Oh Myri! Do you have homework that’s waiting to be done? Do you want me to give you a lecture on the perils of procrastination? Or should I just be happy that you’re spending time reading and commenting on my blog? xD
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! I think my problem is that I’ve stereotyped Armin inside my head. I always see him dressed up as Historia, or in the French maid outfit he wore in the SnK Junior High anime. I guess that’s why I’ve a problem imagining him with a (vanilla?) girl like Annie. With Jean and Eren it’s much easier to see him as bottom 😀
Here’s a link to all the arujean stuff at Toranoana.
Maybe it’s because I read too much fujoshi stuff that I can no longer see Armin in a hetero relationship xD
I know how you feel: I also can’t imagine life without waiting every month for a new SnK chapter to drop xD After Isayama builds his onsen maybe he’ll draw another manga, ahaha! But whether I’ll read that one or not depends on how he’ll end SnK xD
this destroys and warms my heart all at the same time 🙁 poor eren
Thank you so much! I’ve had years to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for Eren’s impending death, right after we found out he had been titanized by Grisha. So I feel I’m ready to deal with his short lifespan. But writing about it, from the point of view of a young man dreaming of a nice family and peaceful future for himself…makes me cry, too. I find comfort in the (highly probable) possibility that Eren will die a true hero, saving not just Paradis and Historia+baby but the entire world as well. That’s what I believe in my heart! I’m sure Armin will come up with a solution to whole thing. Eren will die a happy man, I’m sure of it!
Aww, that’s such a cute teary-eyed little kitten! Thank you! I just love how Eren is protective of Historia. It makes for such a great love story, doesn’t it. Let’s keep on hoping it comes true in canon! xD
love how you ended this story with erens pov or did i tell you already i just love it thanks for this just what i needed erehisu foevah
You did, Krissy, but I don’t mind you telling me again! I’m so glad you enjoyed the story. I wish I came up with this blog years ago, when I had so much to say about the manga and wanting to add moments and episodes into the canon story. Especially during the height of BL AUs for erejean and eruri. Well, as they say, better late than never! xD Yes, indeed, erehisu forever. And friends forever with you, too! xoxo
made me cry this one stop making me cry its a sunday night ffs
Let’s cry together then! xD I also feel like crying a lot lately (not just for the AoT manga, but for all the horrible things happening around the world, courtesy of us horrible human beings). One part of me wishes Eren trusted Jean or Armin with his grand plan. I like to think that either one of them would have been pragmatic enough to support Eren. But then again, his sparing his friends from getting involved with the plan is a sign of love in and of itself. It’s like he wanted to keep them both ignorant and innocent of his crime. It’s a questionable form of love but it’s still love, I think. His trusting Historia fully, though, is really the greatest of love. A legendary one, I’d like to think.
most definitely a strength eren believe you me when i say also yeah i know its a rhetorical question xd
Yep, it’s a rhetorical question, but I enjoyed hearing your answer! I agree, it is indeed a strength–from Historia’s POV 😀 I think Eren’s caring so much for Historia’s welfare are some of the most touching moments in the manga. It seems everyone around them has gotten pretty gung-ho about feeding their queen to her progeny, but for Eren it’s the worst possible nightmare. The way he cares for her and strives to solve her dilemma is truly poignant and tear-jerking.
eren daydreaming of a happy family for himself made me cry
Aww, don’t cry, old friend. I have faith that Isayama-sensei will give Eren a happy (hopefully erehisu) ending. He’ll die for sure (that’s the bitter part of Isayama’s bittersweet ending, I believe), but he’ll die happy. I have to believe as such otherwise I’ll feel terrible xD
wow love this so much i think you got inside erens head its a great change of perspective from the previous mikasa/hizuru story
Thanks, Krissy! I wanted to explore Mikasa’s reasoning behind her actions (wanting to stop Eren) and at the same time see things from Eren’s perspective (wanting to destroy the world). Both of them make a lot of sense, methinks. One of the things I love about the AoT manga is that nothing is in black and white. I love the moral ambiguity of the characters, and the fact that there are no easy solutions to their current problems. It’s like our current reality but with a touch of magic.