Attack on Titan Fanfiction – Goodbye, Hange Zoe: Chapter 1

Read the Introduction

The Office Whinger

“Why wasn’t Hange given a childhood backstory? How could such an important character be killed off without a proper backstory?” Karina whined. “I mean, we’ve seen kid Erwin and kid Levi. Why weren’t we given a kid Hange? I’d love to get a glimpse of Hange when they were just a wacky and precocious child, perhaps with an influential adult in their life teaching them to experiment and encouraging their love of the sciences…”

“Isayama-sensei is tired of drawing and just wants to finish everything ASAP, is what I think,” Asuka replied. She glanced at her friend as they walked down the carpeted corridor of their Tokyo office. “Told you Hange was next in line. You should’ve seen it coming, Karirin.”

“I kinda did, but still…Eight years of my life with Hange in it. Now it’s all over. So hard to believe. It’s like the end of an era,” was the grumbling reply.

Karina Matsui, called Karirin by her friends, was full of misgivings. It’s been like this since I’ve known her, Asuka mused. Take the 9th of this month. Or better yet, take any month and on the 9th day you’ll surely hear Karina’s whiney voice wafting through the aroma of coffee-on-the-go in a brightly lit open plan office. 

She was complaining, as was her wont, about who lives and dies in the manga Shingeki no Kyojin. Her colleague and yaoi-loving BFF, Asuka Katagiri, wrinkled her skinny brows at the annoying sound of Karina’s muttering. It was a typical day at the office and the two young women decide to grab some lunch at a nearby coffee shop. Today they were having kuroke-sando, croquette sandwiches.

“You at it again? Told you before, you shouldn’t even think about Isayama-sensei’s Hit List because everyone apart from EMA is on that list. Names written in stone. All of them are likely to die in the end.”

“But why?” Karina complained, mournfully.

“Because Isayama-sensei really only cares about Eren, Mikasa and Armin. That’s why they’re the protagonists. Every other secondary character is put there so that they could die for the sake of EMA,” Asuka explained, very matter-of-factly.

“Well, that’s awful, because one of the things that makes SnK so incredible is the wonderful cast of supporting characters.”

“Not one of whom will be left standing in the end.”

“Don’t say that, Asuppi,” Karina objected, calling her friend by her nickname. “I can’t take it.”

“We all knew Hange was going to die so that Armin could take over the reigns. I’ve been expecting that since Erwin died.”

“How can you be so blasé about it?” Karina asked. As far as she was concerned, her own heart had been ripped to shreds when Hange Zoe was sent to ‘heaven’ in Chapter 132.

“Ever since Miché died the gruesome way he did, I figured out what kind of manga-ka Isayama-sensei wanted to become. He admires GoT, so there you go.”

Karina hung her head, the empty wrapper of her sandwich neatly folded inside the basket-like container on the table. “I really hated what some people have been saying in the forums. They were actually celebrating Hange’s death. Said cruel things like, ‘It’s about time, bitch. Serves you right.’ It was pretty awful.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Asuka said, “Oh dear. Been reading the fanboards again? Told you not to. Each month I tell you, ignore the forums. And yet you make the rounds, and come to me crying. Look, Hange has her haters. But you and me, we love Hange. Love her. Love her. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“Them.”

“What?”

“We love them. Hange’s non-binary,” Karina pointed out.

Her friend rolled her eyes. “Ugh. Let’s not argue about that, okay? Sure, Hange’s non-binary. But it just means we can refer to the character as he or she without any qualms.”

“I prefer ‘them’,” was the deadpan reply.

“Alright, have it your way. 「奴は」yatsu wa, 「あいつは」aitsu wa, 「こいつは」koitsu wa  sound so crude, though. And 「この人」kono hito or「あの人」ano hito sound so cumbersome.”

“Aitsu’s fine. Such a Levi way of speaking.”

Their lunch time ended. Afterwards Asuka had to go to Nagano on a business trip. Karina stayed in Tokyo, where she remained grief-stricken and unhappy. When her boss wasn’t looking, she exchanged a few quick DMs with friends, whining about, well, you guessed it: Shingeki no Kyojin and Hange’s death.

A week later, in the real world, the two friends manage to meet at a Japanese restaurant in Yokohama. The place specialises in udon or Japanese wheat noodles, but both of them order tendon, tempura on top of rice. 

Typical between colleagues, they take turns complaining about their work, officemates, clients, salaries, living arrangements and what have you. But Asuka knew Karina really wanted to talk about something else.

“Hange is, was and will always be totally underappreciated. Breaks my heart…,” Karina began.

Asuka sighed. It’s always like this when a new chapter drops. For the weeks until the next chapter, the latest drop was all Karina talked about. She had to find a way to convince her friend to stop caring too much about character deaths. 

“What’s your favourite Hange moment?” she asked. Maybe if she let Karina talk her heart out, she’ll finally shut up.

“There are so many, I can’t even begin to line them up in my head. It’s all a crazy jumble of memories.”

“Pick a random scene. I’m listening. Shoot.”

Putting her chopsticks down, Karina replied, “Remember when Hange goes to investigate Ragako village with Connie? Hange was able to correctly guess that titans were transformed humans. I clearly remember that part when it dawns to Hange that the titan on her back right in front of them was actually Connie’s mother. A memory flash of Hange poking at a captured titan with a sharp pole is shown, and Hange looked so contrite. I love that about them, the way they are able to look back and reflect upon and be self-reproachful about the things they did. It shows incredible self-awareness, and a conscience.” She was referring to Chapter 51 of the manga.

“Speaking of contrition, or the lack thereof, I thought it was really funny the way Hange was extolling Moblit to take a sketch of Eren’s messed up face, when they were doing the hardening experiment in the forest. That’s my favourite memory of Hange,” Asuka reminisced, referring to a scene in Chapter 53.

Her friend chuckled. “Yeah, Hange seesaws from being guilt-ridden to being their inquisitive self, in the name of data-gathering. We see this funny side of theirs, and then the next we get a Hange trying to speak for Levi, when he couldn’t put his thoughts into decent words. Remember that part, in the same chapter? Levi ended up sounding like he was accusing Eren of not trying hard enough, but Hange saves the day by saying they still were able to gather relevant data, so the experiments weren’t a total waste of time. Another thing I loved about Hange: the way they could accentuate the positive.”

“I remember when Hange was torturing the priest and he tells her through the prison bars that they were one and the same, and that there’ll always be people like them. That look on Hange’s face was unforgettable,” Asuka recalled, invoking an episode in Chapter 56.

“Oh, I remember that scene very well, especially since Hange went on to kick a table afterwards, and then blame it on a cockroach when Eren asked what was going on.”

This time it was Asuka’s turn to giggle. “The following chapter, Hange rides to Erwin’s place and shouts, are you here Erwin? Yep, you’re here, and then falls on her butt. Quite hilarious!”

“The mix of hilarity and seriousness was incredible, wasn’t it? Right after, Hange was able to correctly guess the titan inheritance ritual. I loved that so much, the way they can be slapstick funny and yet marvelously wise at the same time.”

The two friends go on, remembering all the times Hange was able to save the day. Karina remembered Hange masterminding the non-dissolution of the Scouting Regiment, working with journalists and merchants to counter the machinations of the Military Police. 

“When Levi asked how they managed to do it, Hange doesn’t give themself credit, saying instead that it was the people deciding to take a stand that allowed their organisation to carry on,” Karina reminisced, referring to Chapter 61.

“Oh, I remember my top Hange moment,” Asuka exclaimed, finding a memory shard. “It was when Kenny kidnapped Eren and Historia, and the Scouts didn’t know where they were being taken. It was Hange who correctly guessed they were headed for the Reiss chapel. That was peak Hange for me.” It was in Chapter 62 of the manga.

“Yeah, Hange was so clever,” Karina agreed enthusiastically. “They were like Hercule Poirot in the Agatha Christie novels.”

The two friends sigh at the same time. So many wonderful Hange moments, they both acknowledged. Hange’s competence started to unravel, however, once Erwin died and they were forced to take up his role. Like a fish out of water Hange struggled. Their biggest mistake was their inability to win Eren Jaeger’s trust, underestimating the titan shifter’s level of desperation for a solution to the Eldian problem. 

“And yet Hange tried so hard,” Karina maintained. “Going to Marley, helping Eren out, saving Levi’s life, bringing the Marley and Paradis sides together. I’ll never forget that adorable may-I-have-seconds stew scene with Jean.”

“Hange had to unravel so that Armin could take her place. Countless people died to save Eren all the times he’d been abducted. Erwin died so that Armin might live, Hange died so that Armin might lead. Next up is probably Levi or Jean or both of them dying when Mikasa does something reckless and they save her ass, getting killed in the process. In SnK everyone is bound to die so that EMA can have their glow ups.”

“But that’s just too heartbreaking,” Karina protested.

“Thing is, Isayama-sensei has said in an interview that he wanted to make his story hurt so much to make it memorable. That’s why I’m certain many more will have to die in the end. Wanna hear my morbid predictions? Historia will die in childbirth. Connie will die saving Falco, Pieck will die saving Annie, Annie will die saving Reiner, who in turn will die saving Gabi or some other, and so on. Everyone apart from EMA is as good as dead.”

“Don’t say that, Asuppi,” her friend moaned. “I hate it when you say things like that…”

“Well, let’s just hope my pessimistic ass is wrong about all this,” Asuka conceded. 

While she loved Shingeki no Kyojin, she’d be the first to admit a huge part of her wanted the manga to end soon, so that angst-ridden people like Karina could get on with their lives. It was painful to watch how some fans could be held thoroughly captive by the characters, their minds made anxious by the amounts of despondence and agony in the story.

“By the way, where’d you get that cute keychain?” Asuka remembered asking her friend the first time they met a couple of years ago, eyeing the ornament hanging from Karina’s shoulder bag. It featured a cartoonish, chibi version of Hange, a grinning, bespectacled soldier in the old Scouting Regiment uniform. From the rather worn out look of it she guessed the new girl at the office had had it for some time now.

“Oh, this? Nothing special. A mere bagatelle,” was the offhand, murmured reply.

But Asuka wasn’t so sure. It may only be a silly keychain, but why did the mere mention of it cause a momentary, perplexing look of deep sorrow to flash across Karina’s face? If the ornament brought back bad memories, why did she carry it with her everyday?

Two years on, Asuka was still in the dark. Now that Hange Zoe was gone in canon, will Karina finally be willing to tell her the story behind that damn keychain?

Thank you so much for reading! Please take a moment to share a thought or two in the comment section below. Your comments give me life and are a real source of encouragement. xoxo, hana

Next – Chapter 2: Secrets

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