Attack on Titan Fanfiction – On the Battleship: Chapter 2

History Repeats Itself

Warning: PG-13. Contains depictions of violence.

“Is it Eren Jaeger?”

Mikasa shook her head. “Eren’s different. I love him, I most definitely do, but it’s different…You see, he’s my love, but he’s also my adoptive brother, my family whom I have vowed to protect. I think a part of me loves him as a girl would love a boy, but it’s all so complicated because…,” she struggled to find the words, “Eren is my saviour. Without him, I wouldn’t be here. He taught me how to live. He gave me hope. He’s also my dearest friend, my compass and my light and my reason for living, for so many years. But it’s different…” 

She threw her relative an apologetic glance. “I’m sorry, I’ve never been good with words…”

The older woman nodded patiently.

“Please believe me, Mrs Kiyomi, when I say that Eren is a good person. But when he saw my Aunt Carla–his mother–devoured in front of him…something snapped inside him. He went berserk on the inside…” Her look was beseeching, imploring.

“I understand,” Kiyomi said simply.

For what was the use of attacking her over Eren? It was obvious that Mikasa along with the rest of her colleagues on the ship have, like her, been kept in the dark about Eren’s real plans. It was obvious that they, like her, were horrified with Eren’s intention of destroying the entire world save the island. Hating on them won’t get her anywhere.

“Eren asked me once, what he meant to me,” Mikasa divulged. “But I couldn’t give him a decent answer because…what I feel for him isn’t just one thing. It couldn’t be described with just one word. It is love, but it’s not just one kind of love. It’s all the types of love in the world, wrapped in one…”

“I see,” Kiyomi nodded. She didn’t understand her, but in Hizuru they had a saying: Jūnin-toiro, different strokes for different folks. “As many heads, as many wits,” she liked to translate.

Mikasa continued, “I feel that…had I been able to give Eren a decent answer, maybe he’d have changed his mind about this mass murder…maybe he wouldn’t have been so disappointed in me. I feel guilty and ashamed…” She lowered her head, becoming teary-eyed.

The older woman looked at her with pity. “Don’t blame yourself, Mikasa. I think Eren made up his mind a long time ago, since he was a child. Nothing you could say, nothing anyone could have said, would have changed his mind. Taking responsibility for his actions won’t get you anywhere.”

The look Mikasa gave her was one of gratitude. 

“I should have seen it coming,” Kiyomi mused, in retrospect. “Something like that happened in Hizuru, many generations ago.”

“What do you mean?”

“Before the shogunate united the warring clans, there was a powerful daimyo in the northeastern part of the country, the Nagamatsu clan. They were at war with a rival clan over a piece of land between their fiefdoms. Nagamatsu Kōhei, head of the clan, had a wife named Oshige and a son named Ken. Kōhei managed to reach a truce with the rival clan, the Hiratsuka family.”

“What kind of truce?”

“They managed to agree on how to divide up the land in question. As a symbol of their newfound friendship, the Hiratsukas invited the Nagamatsus to the wedding of their daughter.”

“Both Kōhei and Oshige were supposed to attend, but a health emergency kept Kōhei from traveling. Oshige went alone with her entourage. But on her way to the Hiratsuka castle, she was murdered by mountain bandits.”

“Oh no!” Mikasa exclaimed. She had a bad feeling about what happened afterwards. Oshige’s son, Ken…

“You can imagine what happened next. The two clans go into war once more over Oshige’s death. The road she travelled was under the protection of the Hiratsuka clan, and it was suspected that the bandits were hired to kill her without revealing the puppet master behind the scheme. The Nagamatsu clan was sure it was the doing of the Hiratsukas.”

“What happened to Nagamatsu Ken?”

“He was nine when his mother was murdered, the same age as Eren. Ken grew up, and never understood why his mother had to be killed. Training himself in the art and science of warfare, as well as acquiring expertise in a handful of the the most lethal martial arts, he become a fearsome warrior. He was also spy and assassin extraordinaire, a shinobi like no other.”

“He wanted to know the truth behind his mother’s murder…”

“Yes. His investigations revealed that Oshige was originally betrothed to Hiratsuka Masahiro, head of the rival clan. But then Oshige’s father, a wealthy merchant, had a quarrel with them over the 結納 yuinō or betrothal gift. In Hizuru, families exchange engagement presents in a customary ceremony. He was so angry that he dissolved the engagement, and instead married her off to Nagamatsu Kōhei.”

“Hiratsuka Masahiro never forgot that insult from Oshige’s father…”

“Yes. And so he used the truce to exact his revenge. He killed her because he couldn’t have her. Oshige’s son, Ken, was shaking with anger and hate when he learned about this. His mother had been completely innocent. The quarrel over the yuinō wasn’t even her fault, but her father’s. Yet she paid the heavy price for her father’s pride.”

There was a sinking feeling at the pit of Mikasa’s stomach.

“Ken spent the rest of his life on a path of revenge. By the time he died at the age of forty-four, he killed Hiratsuka Masahiro in battle, but before doing so killed the man’s wife, two of his favorite concubines, and four of his seven children. Yet it wasn’t enough. Even after Masahiro was gone, Ken went on to kill eighty eight of Masahiro’s closest relatives, including thirty seven under the age of ten. Before he died, he made his sons swear to carry on the vengeance with Masahiro’s progeny.”

“Oh dear…”

“Of course, the Hiratsuka clan vowed retribution. The two clans kept up the war for generations, trying to eliminate each other.”

“Did any of them survive?”

“Yes, both clans are alive and well today, but it is only thanks to the Azumabito clan. When your great-great-great grandfather, Yasunori, formed the shogunate, he looked at the two warring clans in the northeast and deemed the endless cycle of revenge and retribution to be a bad thing. Bad for politics, bad for the economy, bad for peace, bad for showing off his strength and gift as the unifier of the non-unifiable. So he forced the Nagamatsu and Hiratsuka clans to sign a peace accord. He created matrimonial connections between them by forcing two Nagamatsu sons to marry two Hiratsuka daughters, and vice versa.”

“How did Great-grandfather Yasunori get them to comply?”

“By that time, the shogunate had grown so powerful and the northeast clans greatly weakened by their endless warfare. Yasunori strong-armed them into peace and allegiance. It was the threat of force more than anything else. He threatened to take away their fiefdoms if they didn’t agree to the peace accord. During the Nagamatsu-Hiratsuka warring, the Azumabitos consolidated the rest of the clans up north, as well as the clans in the east and west, all the way down to the south. The two warring northeastern clans had little choice but to toe the line.”

Mikasa processed all this new information. She just learned the name of one of her mother’s ancestors: Yasunori, the great unifier of kingdoms. And she saw an Eren-like man in the person of Nagamatsu Ken. But something was gravely different between the two.

“If Eren only wanted vengeance, he would have just killed Reiner and Annie, plus the Marleyan government and the military alliance and the rest of those who planned the breaking of the walls,” Mikasa noted.

“It seems Eren’s definition of family extends to the entire island of Paradis,” was Kiyomi’s observation. “He wants to protect his family. Everything else doesn’t matter.”

“If he loved all of us that much, how come he couldn’t tell us his real plan in the first place? In the end, he didn’t trust any of us. That’s what I find to be so painful…I’ve always felt that love should go hand-in-hand with trust.”

“He knew you and your friends have a conscience, and didn’t want any of you to carry the guilt of his crime. He knows it’s a crime–that’s why he had to hide it from you. It seems to me Eren wanted to spare you the burden of responsibility.”

“I wish I’d been someone he could trust,” Mikasa said softly, tears welling in her eyes.

“And I wish I were someone as wise as our ancestor Yasunori. I feel his disappointed eyes upon me. I’ve always admired him, wanted to model myself after him. I wanted to be the unifier of the non-unitable: Paradis and the rest of the world. My failure will haunt me for the rest of my life, the short one I have left. It shall haunt me beyond this life, too, I am sure of it.”

The eyes of the dead upon you. Mikasa shuddered. She felt someone’s disappointed eyes upon her, too. It must be her imagination, but it was there, that feeling of someone watching and being disappointed.

“There’s this feeling I have, of my adoptive father, Grisha Jaeger, wanting me to stop Eren at all costs. I feel it here,” she said, touching her temple. “It comes in the form of headaches. Sharp, jarring pain…I feel that he’s reaching out from wherever he is and telling me to do something…”

“I think it’s because Eren’s plan is flawed on a fundamental level, and his father knows it,” Kiyomi suggested. “Eliminating the world from the equation will bring neither peace nor happiness. The ones left behind will multiply and then start fighting amongst themselves, begin quarreling over the titan powers. It was what happened hundreds of years ago when the ruling Eldians eventually turned on each other, leading to the weakening and disintegration of the Eldian empire. That is exactly what will happen again when the island’s surviving inhabitants will go forth and re-populate a wiped-out world.”

“It’s like an endless cycle, isn’t it?” Mikasa remarked. “Why are we human beings so innately violent? What would it take to stop this loop of violence?”

“It took a man like our ancestor Yasunori to break the cycle of hatred between the Nagamatsu and Hiratsuka clans. If it weren’t for him, they’d have wiped each other out. One of us had to make a stand and say, enough.”

“I will make that stand,” Mikasa said, with resolve in her voice. In her veins ran the blood of the great Yasunori. But how? 

Turning her face to her older relative, she said, “There’s something deep inside me that says it’s Eren himself who has to make the decision to break out of this loop of hatred, this cycle of violence.”

“Yes, ultimately, it is Eren’s choice. But it is up to us to convince him that there is actually another path to take.”

“Is there, really?”

“If I say otherwise, then I’ve just betrayed millions upon millions of my people in Hizuru. There has got to be another path. A Third Way. It is out there. I’ve failed in making it happen. One of you younger generation will have to find out how. A Third Way so novel and unusual it will take a mind of remarkable creativity to come up with it. I am sorry we have left this burden upon your shoulders.”

They both sigh, staring into the horizon. How long before they reach their port of destination? The minutes seemed like hours.

It was the older woman who first spoke again. “There’s something else I wanted to tell you. The reason I wanted you to learn about the Nagamatsu-Hiratsuka tragedy was not just because Ken reminded me of Eren. When our ancestor Yasunori consolidated the warring factions, he forged political alliances with all the clans through strategic marriages. A Nagamatsu daughter as well as a Hiratsuka one married into our clan.”

Mikasa’s eyes widened. Could it be?

“You are a descendant of Nagamatsu Ken, Mikasa. In terms of warrior credentials, yours are completely unparalleled. Combined with your Azumabito and Ackermann sides, you are elite of the elite.”

Turning her body so that she was fully facing the young woman, she continued, “And I have Hiratsuka blood in my veins.”

She paused, giving her time to let the information sink in.

“Without our ancestor Yasunori, those two daughters from rival clans would have ended up killing each other,” Kiyomi went on. “And yet here we are, speaking to each other, working together. It shows what is possible when a person like Yasunori stops the cycle of violence and hatred.”

“I wish I could be like him,” Mikasa said.

“I have wished it for myself, but it turns out I am not the chosen one. We could only hope Eren will show us mercy.”

The two women sigh again. Everything seemed so gloomy these days.

Kiyomi decided to change the subject. Speaking of Eren made them both realise once again the extent of their own failures. It was sad and depressing.

“This other man you have romantic feelings for, is he Eldian?” she inquired instead.

“Yes. We’ve known each other since we were cadets. I think he likes me, but I’m not sure…” There was a light blush on her cheeks.

“What’s he like, as a person?”

“He’s clever. Eloquent. Kind. He’s a leader. He cares very much about his friends. He and Eren used to fight a lot about whatever, but they became close later on. I didn’t really think of him as anything more than a fellow soldier, but nowadays…,” she paused, glancing shyly at her distant relative. 

“Go on,” the older woman encourages.

“He’s always been there for me. Whenever I needed a comforting word, or a helping hand, he was just there for me. He’s shown me in many little ways how much he cares for me. He’s always been so protective of me. He saved my life from a titan once. Armin says he had a crush on me when we were cadets, but that was such a long time ago…I don’t know what he feels about me now. He’s never come on to me, or make me uncomfortable in any way. He’s been the perfect gentleman…and…I think…I’ve grown to love him…”

“Does he know?”

“Oh no! He must not know! That would be terrible!”

“Why is that?”

Next – Chapter 3: Shy Girl

Back – Chapter 1: Her Heritage

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Note

Above illustration is an ukiyo-e woodblock print, Eiroku Yon-nen Ku-gatsu Kawanakajima Daikassen no zu ‘Illustration of Major Battle at Kawanakajima in September Eiroku Year 4 [1562]’ (1855) by Utagawa Yoshikazu