Attack on Titan Fanfiction – Between a Rock and a Hard Place: Chapter 6

Admiral Nicholas Gainsborough

“Tell the court you saw two torpedos.”

Jean looked across at the famed sea dog. Admiral of the Fleet of the Royal Navy of the Noblainian Empire, Lord, Viscount and Duke, Nicholas Gainsborough. Awarded every knighthood and Order of Chivalry for his naval victories around the world, he was a living legend, a charming man in his fifties armed with a ready smile. But today he was scowling, far more rugged in manner than at any other time Jean had encountered him. The younger admiral shifted his weight as he held Gainsborough’s cold and steady gaze. The older man’s eyes were hard and unforgiving, his tone vicious, his demeanor harsh and intimidating. 

“Sir, I cannot speak of what I did not see,” Jean replied. He and the Noblainian admiral met just hours before Jean was to testify at an international tribunal in Noblain. Jean sailed from Paradis with his crew, and as soon as he arrived he was asked to meet with his counterpart admiral, alone and in private.

“Captain Scofield saw two torpedos. His crew saw two torpedos. Surely you have seen them, too,” said Gainsborough.

“Far be it from me to question Captain Scofield and his crew, sir, but from where I was standing, I only saw one. I wish I had seen two because that would explain the source of the second blast. But I know what I saw, sir, and so did my crew.”

The older man glowered at him. “You understand nothing. Your stubbornness baffles me.”

But at that moment everything had become clear to Jean. That he was being asked to lie about a second torpedo meant Noblain was trying to cover up the real source of the second blast, the fatal blast that cut the Aniastulia in half, the blast that sank her so fast the passengers had no time to abandon ship. A second torpedo meant Cistidu was fully to blame. One torpedo meant the second blast was caused by something else: perhaps a sizable amount of contraband materials hidden among the ship’s cargo, tonnes of munitions enough to blow a ship out of the water? That possibility became all the more likely now that his counterpart was making an issue of it.

“Please tell me, sir, exactly what it is I need to understand,” Jean requested.

A glint of anger flashed across the older man’s tanned face. “Don’t waste my time, son. I need only say the words and your insignificant little island will be sunk to the ocean floor. Don’t you ever wonder why Noblain has not yet turned your godforsaken rock into a colony? We’re keeping you alive and sovereign out of pity.”

Jean felt the anger rise inside him. Since the day Eren made his sacrifice, Paradis had kept the peace, put its nose to the grindstone and spent the last three years going through rapid economic development never before seen on their planet.

Thanks to Armin’s diplomatic efforts more and more nations were trading with them. This brought about the increase of society’s productivity, resulting in a rise of incomes, creation of new wealth, and the expansion of a highly diverse middle class.

There was also a rise of consumerism thanks to the expansion of the domestic market. Commercial relations with other nations brought about higher levels of technology, resulting in the expansion of transportation and communication facilities and better public utilities for the people.

Queen Historia’s social welfare programs were beginning to have a viable impact on social inequities, and her dedication to higher education had resulted in the birth of an Eldian intelligentsia that advocated for a borderless world and the peaceful global citizen. 

All this while they dealt with a multitude of problems: uneven distribution of income, uneven geographical development, political liberalization and the can of worms it opened, expansion of a political elite necessary for civil governance and a military elite for national security, with all the complications brought about by these changes in the distribution of power in society. 

Jean, Hange and Levi crafted a no-war clause for their new constitution, binding their military to de facto neutrality in all wars, and essentially making their military purely a self-defense force. The Paradian military bound itself to a contract wherein they would restrain from the use of force in international relations, that the only military rights they could possess was the right of individual or collective self-defense. Never again will they do a preemptive strike against any nation, never again will there be a repeat of the Battle of Liberio.

Paradis also signed the Arms Export Ban, wherein it promised not to export military hardware outside of the island. Jean worked hard to guarantee their military followed all of these to the letter.

They achieved all of the above while paying reparations for their past crimes against humanity. Paradis was paying what it could, struggling to find that difficult balance between extensive reparation demands and keeping the economy going.

They have come so far. Three years of peacetime where they did backbreaking work, dealing with domestic turmoil, groveling at the feet of the international community, begging for forgiveness for untold Eldian crimes both recent and historical, entreating other nations to give them the chance to prove themselves changed, reformed, worthy citizens of the world. 

And now their very existence was being threatened because Jean’s former mentor decided to blow up his own people in a ship from his own country, with Jean the unwilling witness to the crime. What the fuck. 

“Admiral Gainsborough, my country has come this far while keeping the peace, honouring every promise and every treaty obligation, standing in no one’s way. We threaten no one, we wish no one ill; all we want is be given the chance to live, to survive.”

“That’s all that matters to weaklings like you in times of war, isn’t it? Staying alive.”

“It’s all that matters at any time, sir,” Jean replied, matching the other man’s ruthless demeanor. “In times of war or peace staying alive is always the final goal. You taught me that yourself, admiral. You said that the Navy is the vanguard of a country’s national security, and its role is to protect and extend certain national values considered vital to the very existence of the nation-state. These national values are physical survival of the population, territorial integrity and political independence. Now that you threaten our national values, we are also capable of asking ourselves if life without freedom is worth it in the end.”

“And will you exchange the life and freedom of your people for your misplaced integrity?”

“You are asking me to deceive the tribunal, sir.”

“It’s only a little thing, Jean, in the big scheme of things.”

“Admiral Gainsborough, please, consider the political ramifications of such a lie. It will incur the wrath of Cistidu, a nation that despises Eldians far more than Noblain does. Even after you defeat Cistidu, sir, which I believe you will, they will recover in no time and will next declare war on Paradis. Their incomparable submarine warfare capabilities are more than enough to sink my entire fleet. Unlike Noblain, sir, my country cannot yet afford the necessary destroyers,” Jean explained. “Please, sir, for old time’s sake, consider things from my point of view. A deception on my part will have far-reaching consequences for my country.”

“Deception? I’m merely asking you to modify your previous statement, Kirschtein. ‘Tis but a trifle. A small favor.” 

Paradis’ Minister of Defense had issued an official statement on the matter of the sinking of the Aniastulia, detailing exactly what the HMS Erwin Smith witnessed that day, nothing more, nothing less, all the while reiterating the country’s commitment to peace and the peaceful resolution of the crisis. The statement was written by Jean himself. Now he was being asked to redact it.

If it were but a trifle you’d have sent a telegram or a note via messenger, not call me into a secret meeting, Jean thought, mistrustful. “I cannot lie under oath, sir. And your pressuring me to lie makes me all the more suspicious about what it is you are trying to hide.”   

The mighty commander of the Noblainian Navy did not hide his annoyance. This young man, having always been so deeply deferential and respectful, was now eating more than he can chew. “You’re an impudent colt, Kirschtein.”

“No, admiral, I’m a full grown stallion,” Jean countered, drawing himself up to his full height.

Gainsborough chewed on his moustache for a moment, gave Jean the once over. “I can see that.”

They stare at each other for a while. So many memories, so many moments in the past Jean treasured as he learnt how to be an admiral from this great man. How did it come to this? 

The fact was that Jean cut his navy teeth in Gainsborough’s Royal Naval War College. Noblain, master of many colonies and allied to many nations, had an intensive training program for naval officers from these countries. Young men the world over arrived on Noblainian shores seeking to learn the ins and outs of building and running a modern Navy. They came to learn from the greatest naval powerhouse history had ever seen. While Paradis was neither a colony nor an ally, Jean, Armin and Queen Historia managed to convince Noblain to let them in. For a price, of course.

Jean understood that it was the blood and sweat from taxpayers’ money, along with a sizable sale of their natural gas, the iceburst stone, that paid for his and his crew’s training. Thus in the exact opposite manner of his ‘I couldn’t care less, I’m only here for myself’ attitude during his cadet days in Paradis, Jean rolled up his sleeves and worked harder than he ever had in his life.

And Gainsborough eventually noticed. At that time, like everyone else he had a pretty low opinion of Eldians. But Jean and his gang of four crushed whatever misgivings Noblain had about enrolling these island devils. Paradis paid the lump sum of the sizable tuition fee, doubled because Paradis fell outside the requirements.

Then Jean and his crew went on to conquer the much vaunted Noblainian naval program of studies. The five of them got top marks in every area: basic seamanship, navigation and boat handling; chemical and biological damage control training, battlefield studies, leadership exercises, maritime tactical estimate, strategic studies and maritime operations, warship sea acquaint, and so on. They continued their stellar performances when they proceeded to tackle the specialized services curricula.  

Jean, in particular, impressed his instructors in the leadership and critical thinking presentations and assessments areas. His thesis, required for graduation and collected in an annual the college issued each year, was so well-written and incisive in its analyses that it caught the eye of Gainsborough himself. The legendary admiral had it published in the eminent Nautical Magazine and Naval Chronicle, a professional journal of papers on subjects connected with maritime affairs. It was unprecedented and unheard of for a fresh graduate of the war college.

While Jean was at the college, and in the next two years following graduation, he put theory to practice. Within three years he built a functioning modern navy, with a surface fleet, submarine service, fleet auxiliary, fleet air arm and the Royal Marines.

Even Gainsborough was impressed. “Congratulations… good to see your hard work come to fruition,” was his telegram to Jean when Paradis inaugurated its first ever fleet. Jean’s Navy was a modest one but met the island’s current needs: ensuring freedom of the seas, safeguarding essential trade routes around the island which 95% of their economy depends on, providing security at sea for their merchant marines and passenger ships, and providing humanitarian assistance.

Enthused by his ability to raise the standards of Noblain’s naval war college, Gainsborough took a liking to Jean, took him under his wing. This made it easier for Jean and his crew to navigate life as foreigners in an unfriendly nation. “Eldian scum,” their fellow trainees spat at them at first, but after they proved themselves both in and out of the classroom, along with Gainsborough’s favor, the attitude gradually changed from open hostility to grudging respect.

Jean considered his fifteen months in Noblain to be some of the best years of his life: he learnt a great deal, shattered stereotypes, built relationships including turning a racist or two into friends. He was making a difference both for himself and his country: finally he saw how he was turning more and more into the leader and commander Marco and Shadis had predicted he would become.

But now everything he’s worked so hard for was being shattered, because he had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

“Let’s say I chose to lie on your behalf, admiral, in the process turning Cistidu into my enemy. And let’s say they declare war on Paradis after the continental war ends. Will you bother coming to our aid, sir? In exchange for a bare-faced lie to an international tribunal I will demand nothing less than a Mutual Defense Treaty,” Jean says, narrowing his eyes at the older man, observing him, waiting for his response. There was a long pause. Too long, Jean concluded. “I thought so.”

“I will consider it, but it all depends on Parliament. I could put an effort into convincing them,” was the not-so-convincing response. 

“With all due respect, admiral, for a mutual defense agreement to be ratified it will have to pass through both houses of your Parliament. I have never seen a more racist group of Noblainians than those in your House of Lords. Unlike you, sir, they are completely lacking in enlightenment. It was your upper house that critically delayed our bilateral trade agreement and permanently destroyed my country’s proposed transocean trade and investment partnership with the northwestern alliance. Now my country endures tariffs because of our non-existent most-favored-nation status. Given all this why should I believe your Parliament could ever approve an MDT with the Eldians they so thoroughly despise?”

Admiral Gainsborough let out a heavy sigh. “You know, Jean, my lad, you are too clever for your own good.”

“You yourself said I was the best student your war college had ever seen in its four hundred year-history. Please don’t mistake me for a fool, admiral.” 

Here Jean didn’t mince words. Gainsborough used to praise him in front of his colleagues, in his elite circle of VIPs. One time at a military soiree, Jean overheard him saying to the Noblainian Minister of Defense, “That Paradian seaman Jean Kirschtein, he’s really something. Never met a more astute, well-rounded, responsible young man. Can’t blame my youngest daughter Gerry for fancying him.” To which the minister replied, “And what does the inestimable Lady Katharine Gainsborough say to that?” To which the admiral replied, “My wife said, he may be perfect but he’s Eldian which is unforgivable and absolutely ruins everything.”

Both men laugh, but Jean swore he noted a hint of sadness in the admiral’s laughter. Admiral Gainsborough had five daughters and no sons. Could he have seen in Jean the boy he wished he had: a young man who truly loved the Navy and showed him a son’s respect for his father? Well, all that was moot now.

As if reading his mind Admiral Gainsborough changes track. “Oh, by the way,” he says affably, “Gerry sends her regards.”

“And how is the Lady Geraldine?” Jean asks in his most polite, neutral tone.

“She is doing very well indeed,” Gainsborough replies. “Although I’m sure she’ll be disappointed to find out that her precious Eldian friend won’t even do her old man a favor.”

Jean kept a straight face, but inside he was livid. How dare you use Geraldine to try to bend me to your will. “Lady Geraldine has a fine mind, sir. I am sure she’ll understand that in matters of state, a man sometimes has to take the road less traveled.”

Suddenly Admiral Gainsborough flared, shouting, “If it weren’t for me, Eldian scum like you would never have gotten within ten feet of the divine princess! If it weren’t for me you’d never have gotten the chance to even look upon her perfect face! It was me, Kirschtein, me and my largesse that gave you the privilege of enjoying my daughter’s company. It was unheard of and unacceptable in Noblainian high society to hold court with Eldians. We the nobility would never even consider such a thing. That I dared to break social convention because I thought you were worth talking to, thinking you could enrich her mind…I did all that for you and you refuse to do me a goddamn favor!”

Enjoy her company, my ass! Jean wanted to shout back. All Geraldine and I ever did was to have half-hour conversations three or four times a month. She was surrounded by her entourage the whole time and I never touched a hair on her head. I had to keep two feet away from her and I did that gladly because just being in her presence was worth it. But don’t you dare pretend to be the loving, caring father. You were nothing of that sort. You couldn’t even remember the names of your daughters, or their birthdays. They were all a great disappointment to you because you only wanted boys. Geraldine tried so hard to please you her absent father, and her bloody ambitious, scheming, aristocratic snob of a mother, that she forced herself–for the glory of the family name–to marry that scoundrel Crown Prince of Noblain, that good-for-nothing, lowest of the low, ugliest, meanest, most despicable man on the planet. Everyone says Geraldine is the most beautiful woman in the world, but also the most miserable that has ever lived. How dare you invoke her name in this Aniastulia shit that she has nothing to do with!

But Jean takes a deep breath, praying “Marco, help me out here” in his head, then saying in careful, measured tones, “The conversations I had with Lady Geraldine are most precious to me, and I shall continue to treasure them for the rest of my life. I am truly grateful for what you have done for me, sir, but I beg of you, please keep your beloved daughter out of this. The problem at hand is between you and me and no one else, admiral.”

Gainsborough gives him a look. “Why, Jean? Why do you choose to do things the hard way?”

“Wasn’t it you, sir, who told me years ago that lying to protect one’s national interest was perfectly acceptable, but then a statesman has to exercise discretion because there is always a price to pay when one messes with the truth? Applying that expediency principle to our current situation, if I choose to lie on your behalf Cistidu becomes my enemy. If I choose to tell the truth then Noblain becomes my enemy. I am caught between a rock and a hard place, sir. Since it’s a dilemma, a damned-if-I-do-damned-if-I-don’t situation wherein I am screwed whichever way I choose, then I shall choose to speak the truth.”

The older man listens to him, hand on forehead, despairing. “You have no idea what you’re up against, son.”

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I believe I have a very good idea. You and your ilk have been eyeing our natural gas reserves for years now. The Aniastulia incident gives you the perfect excuse to attack us and seize all of our resources. It will be an unprovoked attack and I shall fight to the very last man to protect our only means of survival.”

Again Gainsborough changes track. “Listen, son,” he manages to say with some simulated warmth. “All I want you to do right now is grant me this small favor. When you do, you can read my lips: I’ll see what I can do with a defense agreement.”

“And how do I know, sir, that you’re not only saying that because it’s the convenient lie to cook up at the moment?”   

“Is this how you repay my kindness?” Gainsborough’s voice is cold and sharp as steel. 

“You have shown me more kindness that I deserve, admiral, and for that I am eternally indebted to you. Someday I shall repay you in full, but lying in court is not how I would wish to do so.”

“Then you shall pay a heavy price for your ingratitude,” the older man says with great indignation, turning on his heels, leaving the younger man to stare sadly at the back of the admiral he had once tremendously admired and had been modeling himself after. 

After he was left alone, Jean takes a deep breath and puts a hand on his chest, feeling his own heart breaking.

---

Hours later Jean took to the witness stand, but the moment he stood on the podium he already knew something was amiss. None of the crew of the Aniastulia would meet his gaze. While giving his testimony to the tribunal he was not asked about the torpedos, but only details about the rescue effort. He watched aghast as the Aniastulia Captain Scofield, in contrast to his answer when Jean had questioned him after they rescued the crew, and also in contrast to his previous statement at the inquest, declared that he saw two torpedos. His crew also claimed the same. 

On his way back to his ship with Vogel and Feldman, someone had hissed at him as they were passing through the fish market along the port. “Admiral Kirschtein, over here,” the man beckoned behind a large shipping crate. It was the Aniastulia’s Quartermaster Jameswood, one of the crew Jean had rescued. 

The man, draped in a long cloak and hood to hide his face, looked around to make sure no one was watching. Jean motioned to his men to stand out of earshot.

“They threatened me with my job, my pension, my reputation,” he told Jean. He was describing the pressure the shipping company had put on him to claim he saw two torpedos strike the cruise liner. “My crewmates who insisted on seeing a single torpedo were refused permission to testify.” He looked at Jean, his red-rimmed eyes begging the other to understand. “I have a wife and two children. I had no choice.” 

“I see,” was all Jean could say. “Why are you telling me this?”

“You saved my life. I owe you the truth. It’s the least I can do,” he said. He told Jean about questioning the captain regarding their particular route that day, but his concerns were waved aside. We’re sailing straight to a war zone, Jameswood pointed out to the captain. But he was given a dark and disapproving look. The admiral himself approved of our route, Captain Scofield had replied. Now their Navy was trying to pin the blame on the captain.

Jameswood’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I’ve never liked Admiral Gainsborough,” he continued, eyes flashing momentarily. “I’m sure he has a hand in all this. He’d have wanted the Aniastulia to sink in its entirety, not a single survivor in sight, except for the ship’s log. To him, every ship is a sacrificial pawn in his quest for glory.”

Jean stared at him, not knowing what to say. The man looked around one last time, before leaning in to whisper, “You didn’t hear it from me. You didn’t see me. There is really nothing a worthless shrimp like me can do when the state’s involved. Nothing a much-reviled island like yours can do, either. Godspeed to you, Admiral Kirschtein.”

And with that he vanished.

Thank you so much for reading! Please take a moment to share a thought or two in the comment section below. Your comments give me life and are a real source of encouragement. xoxo, hana

Next – Chapter 7: Calm Before the Storm

Back – Chapter 5: The Cover-up