Unfinished Business
WARNING: Contains spoilers.
Armin Uses Diplomacy
Don’t you just love the bacteria and other living organisms illustrated on the first page? It’s like a page from a science book.
Zeke explains to Armin that all these organisms have only one goal: to multiply or increase in number. For him, it’s a meaningless endeavor, and thus can’t understand those who live in fear of dying. Dying means an organism cannot breed anymore, and every day is just a fight for survival in order to multiply. Was breeding that important? If the survival instinct is all there is to life, then Zeke doesn’t care for it.
Founder Ymir wanted to free herself from the pain of dying, and so she became a titan. She worked as a slave, ever loyal to King Fritz, and despite living in terrible conditions she kept plugging on, waiting…waiting…waiting for two thousand years for someone like Eren to come and save her.
She had regrets, unfinished business, but because Zeke failed to understand this, it was Eren she chose to follow. What this unfinished business was Zeke couldn’t name (it wasn’t breeding because she’d already given birth to three daughters), and it is Armin who explains it to him.
For Zeke, death is the ultimate freedom, since a dead person no longer has to live in fear. When he questions why Armin continues the fight when human beings are all going to die in the end anyway, Armin reframes the question in a totally different way.
It’s not all about breeding, he explains to Zeke. When he was a boy, Eren challenged him and Mikasa to a foot race across the meadow. Mikasa deliberately lagged behind, while he, being the weakest of the three, did his best to keep up. But it didn’t matter if he was last in the race. What mattered was that he enjoyed every moment. As he ran after his friends, in those moments he felt he was born just so to enjoy this play time with them. When he read a book on a rainy day, or fed a squirrel, or walked in the market with his friends, he felt the same way. It was these small, ordinary moments, these seemingly unimportant daily activities that gave him a reason for living. It wasn’t about breeding, far from it.
Zeke finally realizes why Armin and his friends continue to fight for life, not just for themselves but for the millions of other children on the planet. He remembers himself as a boy playing catch with his mentor, Xaver, just throwing a baseball back and forth, back and forth. It was meaningless and unimportant in the big scheme of things, and yet in those moments Zeke felt happy. If he had his way, he’d just play catch for the rest of his life.
This realization allows Zeke to form a completely different resolve. He turns a new leaf, calling on past titans to help Armin. Thanking Xaver for playing catch with him, for giving him the happiest memories of his cursed boyhood, he also finds it in his heart to forgive Grisha and thank him for fathering him.
I absolutely loved this part of the story. Armin actually uses dialogue and diplomacy to get into Zeke’s head. He didn’t spoon feed him bromides such as “Children are the hope of the future” or “Family is everything” or other such nonsense. He understood that for Zeke, none of these meant anything. Life as mere breathing, breeding organisms was meaningless to Zeke. But there was still a human part of him, the one that cherished play and friendship and kindness from his mentor, the part of him that enjoyed baseball. Armin, instead of arguing with him about the importance of breeding, told him something he could identify with: I want to live because I want to play with my friends.
Founder Ymir’s Lingering Regret
I’ve been wondering what the 未練 miren, a lingering regret, or unfinished business Founder Ymir had with her life, and it was here that the realisation hit me: the girl just wants to play. She agreed with Eren’s plan because killing all his enemies meant she wouldn’t have to build titans from the sand anymore. If her descendants finally became enemy-free, then she can go on and do what she wants. She can build sand castles instead of gigantic beasts, she can play catch with her children (who should be in Paths by now), she can sprint with her friends across the meadow, see who gets to the tree first.
A life without enemies meant a life without fear of dying. It meant the freedom to play in peace. So she chose to support Eren, who wanted to give her this freedom. If we think of all the power she had, she could have freed herself with or without him. But it seems she needed permission from someone to become free. This someone was Eren.
I cried for poor Founder Ymir, and for Eren who wanted to help her. She was just an ordinary young girl, and yet she experienced every terrible thing conceivable by man or beast, natural or unnatural. She didn’t have any fun, or get the chance to play. All she had been was a pitiful slave, every single day of her short life. No wonder Eren was a saviour in her eyes.
After drying my tears I was reminded once again why I fucking love this manga.
A Sacrifice Made, A Promise Fulfilled
So we find Zeke calling to Levi, with those hilarious words: “I know you wanted to see me, though I don’t want to see you.” Even in the final moments of his life we find him wanting to verbally spar with the captain. He notes the good weather, and regrets that he never really cared, but then he’s killed so many that wanting anything more is asking for too much. He is at peace with his decision.
Levi, who has killed many but only because they were trying to kill him or his friends, doesn’t spare a moment. He beheads Zeke with a swing of his sword. But the expression on his face is inscrutable. He’s not celebrating, or smirking, or pumping his fists, or going all whoo yeah I killed the goddamn beast. Instead he looks… What is that look?
For me, it’s the look of a man who kills his enemies only in a do-or-die-situation. It’s the look of a true warrior, an honest fighter who doesn’t like it when the person he has to kill gives himself up without a fight. He is used to fighting, expecting a fight back from his enemies, so when they just sit there and wait for the fatal blow…
I’ve always loved Levi but I never loved him so much as this moment. We see his humanity, understated and yet pierces straight through the heart. It was because of Zeke that Erwin was killed, that Miche was killed, that his entire squadron in the Forest of the Giant Trees was killed, and yet he still has that look on his face. He has fulfilled his promise to Erwin, but he knows better than to crow about it. Levi has class.
Another thing I loved about these panels of our captain was seeing him having an arm around Gabi, keeping her steady for sharpshooting, protecting her from falling. He’s such a dad. Uncle Levi, always looking after children, babysitting them as best as he could despite them being a real handful. My god, I love him so much!
Jean Detonates the Explosives
As if I needed to cry some more, we see Jean finally able to detonate the explosives around Eren’s titan’s neck.
“You suicidal shitty dumbass!” he cries out.
Are those tears welling in his eyes? Is he doing his best not to weep? He’s always been mad at Eren for being suicidal and reckless, but this is because he has grown to care for him and doesn’t want him to die or involve Mikasa while he does so. Now he is forced to kill the person he shouted at in the past: “I will kill you if you try to kill yourself!”
Poor Jean. Brave Jean. Like Levi, he grits his teeth and does what needs to be done. In Jean’s case, it must have been a million times more painful because Eren had been his good friend. Imagine that, having to kill a friend you have grown to like and respect. We don’t get any internal monologue from Jean during this event. What I wouldn’t give to hear the thoughts going through his mind!
Eren sees Jean, knows his head is about to be blown off, but he does nothing. He just lets him go ahead with it. Maybe this was Eren’s plan all along: to get his friends to turn against him, to show the entire world that Paradis is filled with good people. That’s why he told Mikasa he hated her, told Armin he was useless, talked back to his captain, grabbed his commander’s collar and told them they’re clueless. It’s as if he wanted to make it easier for them to kill him when the time comes.
All of this (Code Geass vibes aside) is so utterly heartbreaking.
Reiner Gets to be a Hero
Eren’s titan’s head is severed from its body, and the spinal cord thingy attempts to connect to it once more. But Reiner won’t have it. He essentially puts himself in a suicide mission, ready to die if that was what’s needed to make the rumbling stop once and for all.
Will the Armored Titan survive the blast from the Colossus Titan? He’s survived Bert’s blast before, so he might be able to do it again. Unless he really, truly wants to die this time around. Having a death wish for so long must be taking a toll on him.
If we think about it, it’s the perfect way for Reiner to go. He’s always wanted to be a hero, always dreamt of saving the world. This is his big chance. Yet I don’t want Reiner to die just yet. I still want him to have a reunion with his mother, so she can ask for his forgiveness.
Also, if Eren dies, what happens to Historia? Will she be condemned to a life of solitude? Reiner’s always had a thing for her, and next to Eren and 104th Ymir I would absolutely pair Reiner with Hisu if that is at all possible.
Details that Make Me Go Aww
Other things I really loved:
- Zeke, after being shown with a small anthill last chapter, has finally built a proper sandcastle. Dunno why but I felt so relieved upon seeing his work of art! There’s a part of me that hopes he enjoyed building it.
- Sasha looking on as Armin feeds a squirrel is cuteness overload.
- Mikasa is her badass best in getting the okapi to barf up Armin. In the past she’s said to Annie’s Female Titan, “Give Eren back!” but now she’s shoulder to shoulder fighting alongside her and says “Give Armin back!” to their common enemy. How the tides have turned! I don’t know if they’d consider each other friends but I like that they have reached a kind of rapport.
- Pieck looks so adorable being carried by Jean. She’s really petite, even smaller than Annie.
- Xaver’s Beast Titan in the form of a ram was a pleasant surprise! He’s said he was useless in battle, so I was expecting him to be more of a lamb-like creature. But he looks amazing as a full-grown ram with those lovely curving horns.
- It was great to see Eren Kruger once again, along with Marcel, Bert, Porco, 104th Ymir. I miss these people and I’m glad they’re given a chance to save the world.
- Poor Mikasa, looking on helplessly as her dearest friend transforms to blast away her one family left on earth. I do laud her for not screaming “Armin, stop!” and getting in the way, but instead lets him do what he feels needs to be done. It shows incredible self-control on her part.
- Falco’s Jaw Titan looks absolutely awesome in the last spread of the chapter. Look at that beak, those wide-spanning wings, that perfectly feathered tail! If I were to be one of the Nine Titans I’d totally want to be this one.
Loose Ends
There is a part of me that believes Eren won’t die just yet. In fact, I’m 100% sure of it. He could have easily crystallised himself after his titan’s head was blown off, and this is because he has plenty of unfinished business:
- Free Historia’s kid, or baby Founder Ymir herself, whoever that final panel child may be.
- Apologise to Armin and Mikasa, and Levi, for that matter.
- Talk to his father and mother in Paths.
- Have a group hug with his friends.
- Make sure the world will indeed forgive the islanders.
Starting and stopping the rumbling is one thing, but is that enough for the rest of the world to refrain from ganging up against the Eldians? Won’t the world be very angry about the deaths the rumbling (partial at this stage) has caused, and won’t they seek revenge for these killings? Making the rumbling stop solves only a portion of their bigger problems. Deep-seated, historically-anchored hate doesn’t disappear that easily. In the end, will Armin & Co find out that, while they gave the world’s children a chance to sprint peacefully across a meadow, they inevitably endangered their own children’s chances to do the same?
Also, there’s the problem of the uninherited Beast Titan. Since Zeke died without transferring his power to a pure titan, that means it went to a random Eldian baby. Who could that baby possibly be? Could it be—horror of horrors—Historia’s child? Nooooooooo! Please, anyone but the queen’s baby! Wait, scratch that, I don’t want it to be transferred to any child, as that will doom them to a very short life. Can’t Eren and Founder Ymir just remove the titan powers for good? Its presence is why the world hates them to begin with: absolute power corrupts absolutely. We’ve seen how the Marleyans have misused this power. But removing it will leave the islanders defenseless, make them sitting ducks helpless against the wrath of the world. What to do?
In the dream sequence in the first chapter of the manga, a girl with a scarf says, “See you later, Eren.” Mikasa? When? Was that a random memory or is it something that happens in the future? So many unanswered questions!
With two chapters left to go, I’m assuming we’ll see all these resolved and more. Will Eren fight back? Will Founder Ymir fight back? Still so many possibilities, still plenty of reason to be on our toes.
All in all, it was a fantabulous chapter. Eren’s prophecy of Armin being the one to save the world has been fulfilled. Levi’s promise to Erwin has been fulfilled. Zeke cooperates with Armin and makes the ultimate sacrifice. Major events in the span of 45 blissful pages. Isayama-sensei has even shown us the storyboards. Can’t ask for more!
Very much looking forward to the last two final chapters, though a part of me is still incredibly scared of what happens in the very end. We never really know what kind of crazy surprises are in store, given the nature of this sublime manga and its peerless manga-ka.
Thank you so much for reading! What did you think of this chapter? Please take a moment to share a thought or two in the comment section below. xoxo – hana
Next – Chapter 138 Review
Back – Chapter 136 Review
aw luv this leaf expression u chose its perfect esp since armin did have a leaf on hand to symbolize his 小さな喜び
Thanks for noticing! Each New Year I try to turn a new leaf but in a jiffy I’m back to my old rotting leaf self xD
Speaking of small joys, I remember you telling me that yours was eating a fresh oyster. I’ll have an oyster scene in my upcoming nicosha story! 😀
love this u said it so well i really loooove this entire review its like you wrote everything ive been thinking lol
Thank you muchly! Mwah! I think the above’s my way of saying I don’t want the manga to end in two months because there are so many storylines that demand a resolution xD I’m fantasising we’ll get 90-page chapters instead of the usual 45. Whaddya think of my pipe dream? xD If only Isayama-sensei is allowed to take over an entire Bessatsu magazine for once (or twice!). I mean, I’d absolutely buy!
im all for raihisu in case yams makes eren an incel or monk or something lol
Ah, please, no incel storyline for Eren! I’d die of disappointment. Still, better he be a monk that be coupled with you-know-who! xD
Honestly, I don’t know why I haven’t written any raihisu to date. They’d be great as a modern AU couple, don’t you think?
aww this is awesome did u write it for me i feel like u did luv u even more absolutely agree w levi being classy when he fights he doesnt even seem to enjoy it even if he says otherwise its like hed rather be in his tea shop or something its one of the many things i totes love abt him
Yes, Krissy, I did have you in mind when I wrote it! I know you’re crying into your bucket of Tip Top while reading the chapter. At last, Levi making good on his promise. I don’t think it turned out the way he thought it would be, but in this case, it’s the end result that matters. Only two more chapters to go! Let’s hope our precious captain gets the life he deserves: one filled with love and good friends and a nice hot cup of tea each day (with biscuits to dunk, of course!)?
very well said armin didnt shove his pov down zekes throat instead he tried to frame thinks from zekes pov n it worked we can see just how clever aru is here isayama has always failed to impress me with arus so called intelligence but this is one instance in wc it actually shines through
Armin was so clever he could write a “How to Win Friends and Influence People” kind of book and it’d be a NYT bestseller! xD I’ve read plenty of books about negotiation and mediation and dispute-resolution in my life (for work, of course! If I had my way I’d hole up alone in my house and wear jammies all day and vegetate in front of the telly xD), and all of them basically say that to “win” an argument you have to see things from the other party’s perspective, and work from there. I’m glad Armin was able to use his head this time around, and it worked beautifully. Like you, I’m glad there’s an AoT character whose brains more than brawn has finally made up for his past (perceived) failures.
totes love this review ur in ur element this is what i expect from you i think its ur best so far
Aww, thanks, Krissy! After my hissy fit in the last chapter I thought I should make it up by being sane this time around! xD The only reason I write reviews is that I need to keep this blog updated regularly otherwise Google will lower its ranking. I’m just really thankful you’re reading and commenting. Otherwise I’ll just give up on this whole enterprise! xD
i thought exactly the same!! she looked so small and adorable!! it also made me think that i am barely 5 centimeters taller than her so it made me imagine how small i would look next to jean xD
totally agree with you, i’m happy isayama didn’t make her lose control!
Aww, you’re an adorable little cutie pie!? I remember Eren having to really stoop his shoulders to talk to Pieck when she put a gun to his head. Imagine how much Jean would have to stoop! xD
Yeah, my worst fear was having Mikasa choose to kill all her comrades and friends (including Armin) because they’re trying to bomb Eren’s titan. I thought her protective instinct would kick into high gear and she’ll just blindly kill anyone who tries to hurt him. Fortunately, we see her being accepting of his fate, albeit reluctantly. I think she should really trust that Eren won’t die just yet. They still need to have a talk as brother and sister! He still owes her an apology, methinks.
zeke died without being eaten by anyone, so his titanic powers will be inherited by any eldian baby being born at that time. it would be quite an iconic and surprising way to reveal eren’s paternity, but at the same time i hope they can reverse ymir’s curse in some way. it would be really horrible if that baby is condemned to die by the curse of ymir from their first second of life.
I’ve been wondering for some time now why Hisu’s baby’s birth is at the exact same time of the rumbling. I thought it was because Eren wanted to make sure the baby would be free right after it is born, but now that Zeke made his sacrifice I see the possibility of his titan going to the baby. If that’s the case then I’m sure Eren will find out and he will absolutely do something about it. He won’t have Hisu be titanised and he won’t as hell let the baby die after 13 years. I really feel he and Founder Ymir will remove the titan powers for good this time. The baby would be Founder Ymir’s great-great-great x 10 grandchild and I think she’ll go along with what Eren will feel is best. Really looking forward to a Hisu chapter next month!
when i realised that parallel of that night i couldn’t hold back my tears. i’m always a flood of tears when it comes to SNK but that part just blew me away.
jean really loves eren, he really appreciates him. it’s a pity that there are still people in the fandom who say haha he hates eren, haha he is jealous of him is like noooo? he doesn’t hate eren? what manga have they been reading to not understand that jean is one of the people who loved eren the most and that he defended him until the end. until he came to the harsh and painful conclusion that the rumbling would only end if they killed eren and detonated those explosives with all the pain in the world in his eyes
OMG IKR!! Screw the dumb fanboard commenters! Your wonderful comment just totally made my day, though. It’s fellow readers like you who understand the essence of Jean’s character that gives me comfort, what with all those Jean haters in the fanboards going, “Jean’s a dick, screw him, he hates Eren, he’s jealous of him” at this ultra late point of the canon story. I mean, I want to scream at them, are we reading the same %$&# manga? Jean might have disliked Eren as an adolescent, but as he grew up he learned to love and understand him and stand up for him, like you said.
It just drives me crazy how some people can’t process complex characters. Everyone has to be black or white or they don’t get them. Geez. Jean has shown the best character growth amongst the 104th, and he’ll always be the most fascinating person in AoT for me. I *love* that you love him. You and I are part of a veeeeeery tiny minority so we must stick together! ?
I’ll say this as often as necessary: ¡Forza Jean Kirschtein! ¡Viva el majestuoso semental! (Did I get that right? xD)
PS. I was complaining to a manga-reading colleague of mine the other day about some “fans” who are too dense to understand sophisticated character development and how subtle and nuanced it can be, as well as having no basic grasp of subtext whatsoever. He said there are people out there who only like very simple characters and predictable narratives and comfortable tropes. Anything else they just put in their box of hate. “These people are not your people,” he said. “Go and find your people.” You’re my people, Myri, I thank the gods for you everyday!
ohhhh, thank you so much hana!! i’m also happy that i found someone like you, you really are my kind of people:D?? ily❤
RE: you said it quite well !! the only correction is “fuerza”, but the rest of the message is perfectly written <3 really made me very happy this little message of support to our majestuoso semental, viva jean kirschtein!!!
Thank you, Myri! I think the best things about this blog are you and your comments✨ You make it all worthwhile!
I remember now, “forza” is Italian xD I sometimes get it confused with Spanish because they’re kinda similar 🙂
A Jean stan acquaintance of mine has mentioned to me she hated it when people referred to Jean with horse references. I told her I didn’t mind: horses are some of the most beautiful, gorgeous creatures on god’s green earth! 😀 I think of Jean as the finest Thoroughbred in the land, the most desirable stud horse out there❤ xD I’d ride him anytime? xD
omg, thank you!! sometimes i think “I’m not being very intense and dense with my comments?”. i think it’s just the voice in my head that tries to make me feel bad and insecure xD
being honest before i was one of those fans who got upset with those jokes, even a few days ago i saw a tweet of someone who put the face of jean on the body of a horse and i thought “are you still with that? get over it!!!” xD
but if we start talking in the metaphorical sense, i agree that Jean is a stud. completely thoroughbred hahaha. with his new appearance i imagine how many new cadets there will be in love with his mere presence xD i mean, look at him!!! He not only has the physical package, but his personality is also attractive !!! i’m frustrated that there aren’t any guys like him in real life 🙁 i just feel like throwing a tantrum like a little girl when i come back to reality and think “oh he’s a drawing, he doesn’t exist” xD
Oh no, please don’t ever think you’re commenting too much or too frequently! Your comments are the only thing keeping this blog alive TBH, I mean, if you weren’t here it’d be just me and my old friend Krissy talking to each other, which would be really pathetic and sad xD My blog gets hundreds and hundreds of visitors per day but no one bothers to comment, which is totally discouraging (my stories must be so boring they have nothing to say, ahaha!). I don’t know what I’ll do without you!
Re: Jean horse memes with poor taste. Yeah, it boggles the mind why people still make those when it’s so obvious Jean’s a god xD But I try to think of any head-of-man-with-body-of-horse as a centaur, the creature in Greek mythology. My favourite interpretation of them is CS Lewis’ in the Narnian Chronicles, which I read as a child. In his story, centaurs are the noblest of creatures, wise and kind and loyal, with prophetic abilities. They are well-versed in astronomy and medicine, and are fierce warriors in battle. I’ve read other takes on centaurs by other authors, but Lewis’ will always be my fav. It’s because of his books that I’ve come to love centaurs 😀
Ohhh, I know all about falling in love with fictional characters! xD Like you, I’m in love with one right now xD Also, I think you have great taste! xD
I think having a crush on a fictional character is A-okay and healthy, just a part of being a regular human being. Fictophiles (or other variations of the term) are actually my kind of friends, because they have “other” lives apart from the ho-hum daily grind. I like people with rich inner lives. As long as it’s done in moderation, of course. Since you and me both are still functioning members of society, we’re on the okay end of the spectrum! It still hasn’t taken over our lives, making us unable to separate fiction from reality. As long as we don’t cut off real relationships or miss opportunities to date because we’re too enamoured with a manga/anime character, then we’re doing just fine!
Speaking of which, Happy St Valentine’s Day, darling Myri! Here are four hearts for you, the same number as *his* name: ❤❤❤❤
don’t think bad of your stories, they are really interesting and exciting! maybe some are too shy to comment hehe i remember i knew your blog since march of last year, but i just decided to comment in july/august xD please don’t lose heart!
happy valentine to you too! how are you doing? i’m just about to start my day xD last night i had a dream that inspired me to write something ?. if I can get my ideas right in the google docs, the story would be something like jean and mikasa dancing in the middle of the crowd while they were spies in marley ?
Thank you, Myri! I think the problem is that *I* think my stories are interesting, that’s why I publish them, only to find out the reading public doesn’t think the same way xD But it’s always been like that for me, even as a child: I always liked stuff only a tiny minority liked. I’ve always shipped minor/unpopular pairings for as long as I could remember. So yeah, I really shouldn’t expect anything at all from anyone. This is why you’re really precious to me, though. We’re on the same wavelength, and I just can’t express enough what a rare gem you are!
Best of luck in your writing! A secret outdoor dance in Marley sounds lovely❤ I wish I could dream of SnK like you do! The dream I remember from last night was really strange: I was on a spaceship with a bunch of people and I shared with this colleague a very expensive bath set, but instead of using only one portion she used like, the entire pack! xD I was so angry but I couldn’t express it, so I was just nodding and trying not to cry xD I wish I dreamt of Jean instead, ahaha! xD
the only thing that kept levi standing was the promise he made to erwin, now that he was finally able to fulfill that promise i wonder what he will do with his life, what will drive him to move on?
I feel our precious captain just wants to go to Paths now and be with his loved ones: Erwin, Hange, Miche, Nanaba, his uncle Kenny maybe, his mum (I suppose she’s there somewhere?), his old squad: Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther… It seems they can sit around a campfire and have a nice chat over there, so maybe it’s not so bad. I’ll be sad when he leaves, though, I mean, he’s such an important character in my stories 🙁 I want him to continue being a dad and uncle to everyone, he’s got wisdom and compassion and they need him, methinks.
despite all the complexities and atrocities that armin went through he still has that simple and disinterested way of looking at life, i wish i could be like him xD
IKR! Me, too, I think my life would be much simpler and happier if only I had his philosophy, his way of looking at what matters in life. It’s really very wise: appreciating every moment, enjoying the small joys, being in the present. Thanks to my anxiety and depression I’m too mired in the past and too worried about the future and have a poor grasp of the present xD And I still hold on to impossible dreams and desires (such as winning the lottery, ahaha! How stupid is that?? xD). So most of the time I’m miserable! xD Armin is so zen I really envy him!
i remember not feeling any kind of empathy towards zeke, his character did not generate anything in me, any kind of feeling besides grief. but with this last chapter i was finally able to understand him, i was finally able to connect with him and the complexity of him. i don’t know if he had the ending he deserved, but i am satisfied with that conversation that he had with armin.
i really cried when his only source of happiness was playing with his old mentor Xavier, he was the only one who gave Zeke some affection during his childhood. imagine that your parents only had you for their own benefit, used you only to reach a goal. like founder ymir, he not only needed to feel free but he also needed love. true and sincere love.
Thank you, Myri, for this lovely and very thoughtful comment❤
I remember in the early years of the manga I was so pissed off at Zeke for what he did to Miche, who was a favourite character of mine from the start. I just absolutely hated the way he died. It wasn’t about the titans killing him—I understand that soldiers have to kill their enemies—but it was the way Zeke seemed to enjoy the act. He was such a psycho and I was so mad. I remember thinking, one of these days Levi’s going to find out what you did to Miche and he will destroy you!
The way Miche was torn to pieces was a horrifying event for me, and I had nightmares about it for weeks. I thought I could never forgive Zeke, but after Isayama gave us his backstory I felt I understood him and why he did what he did. Childhood trauma runs deep, and it really destroys people from the inside, so much so they lose their humanity. I’m not excusing Zeke’s bad behaviour, or condoning the way he killed Miche, but I feel I understand why he ended up like that. I know from experience that being used as a tool by your own parents is the surest way to fuck up a child!
There’s a part of me that sympathises with his anti-natalism and misanthropy and self-loathing. He’s a very intriguing but also triggering character for me, and one of Isayama’s best-written. I hope one day I can write a character like him in a story, without it being too autobiographical! xD