by
Warning: NSFW. Contains graphic depictions of sex.
The Aftermath
Historia woke up in the middle of the night. Her body was a little sore, but when she felt Eren slumbering naked next to her, she was both furious and needy. Tied and bound, she was made to shamelessly beg for his cock, was pleasured by him while being prevented from touching him in return.
She turned on the bedside lamp and woke him with a start, taking him by surprise as she knelt beside him, kissing him full on the lips before licking her way down his neck, sucking at the tender skin, biting lightly on his shoulder and then licking his nipples with her warm, wet tongue, her hands kneading the muscles on his chest and abdomen. Soon gentle yet insistent fingers wrap around his growing rod.
Without hesitation she took his penis into her mouth, her eyes looking up at him, flashing a brilliant blue, daring him to stop her. She sucked and licked and stroked his shaft with determination until she was satisfied with his hardness. Straddling his hips, she impaled herself on his cock and rode him hard, her eyes shut tight. She felt him fondling her breasts, lifting his own hips to meet her downward thrust. Every cell in her body was tingling, vibrating, sensitive to the most minute of their movements. She came first, her pussy juices flowing over Eren’s cock. When he was about to come he tried to lift her hips off so he could ejaculate outside of her. But she was having none of it, clamping her body on top of his, forcing him to spurt deep inside her gripping pussy.
And then, again to Eren’s surprise, Historia wouldn’t stop. Mad with an indescribable need, she went on all fours, breasts crushed on the bed, knees apart, ass high in the air. She didn’t say a word but only looked back at him pointedly, her eyes begging him to fuck her from behind. Eren grasped her hips, sinking himself deep into her hungry pussy, pistoning in and out of her. She rolled her hips to buck against him, meeting him thrust for thrust. All she could think of was this insane hunger, this overwhelming need to be filled.
Fuck me, Eren. Harder. Deeper. Fuck me more. Faster. Don’t stop. Never stop. Fuck me until I forget everything. Fuck me until I remember nothing but this ephemeral moment of searing pleasure. Fuck me until I forget I ever felt unbearable sorrow. Fuck me into oblivion. Please, Eren, please…
They fucked wordlessly, the only sounds moaning and grunting and groaning coming from the bedroom that night, along with the smacking, slurping sounds of a rock hard cock slamming into a sopping wet vagina. Eren hunched over her, fingers massaging her breasts and clit as he took her. And there it was again, that incredible orgasm making her entire body convulse. All she could do was weep into the pillow as her body soared and then shattered.
When Historia woke up in the morning she was alone. Panic set in as she started to remember the events of last night. She was a blur as she washed up, cleaned her teeth, put on her clothes, all the while praying that Eren had already left the house. How could she face him now? She felt her mind stabbed by a paralyzing sense of shame and guilt. Last night she was reckless, totally out of control. Not even a woman but simply a wild animal. An obscene bitch in heat. Please let him be at work already. I can’t face him, I just can’t.
She laced up her boots, hurrying as fast as her shaking fingers allowed her. The memories of what she did came crashing in and left her breathless with shock and horror, made her want to get out of the cabin as fast as possible. She had taunted Eren, seduced him, dared him to take her. And when he did, she couldn’t have enough.
Her chest ached at her own cruelty. Because once that line had been crossed, there was no going back. Now that Eren had her body and heart, the agony of dying at just twenty three years of age would be how many times worse? A thousand? A million? Now that she had given him everything, she feared he would love her with a love so strong the requisite pain would be unimaginable, indescribable. How could she hurt him like this? Eren, precious, beautiful, darling Eren.
The door knob turned. The titan shifter came in, dressed and ready for the day. Their gazes meet. Historia’s eyes open wide as she stares at him, absolutely mortified. Her knees give in and she crumples to the floor. Closing her eyes as hot tears of guilt and shame flow down her cheeks, she braces herself, waiting for him to tell her exactly what she was.
Nasty cunt. Ravenous whore. Insatiable slut. Horniest bitch I’ve ever seen, he’d say, telling it to her straight. She felt she deserved it.
She sits on the floor, eyes shut, crying quietly. But he doesn’t say anything. She feels him bend on one knee in front of her. Gentle fingers wipe away her tears, caressing her cheeks, brushing the hair sticking to her forehead.
“Please don’t hate me,” she whispers in anguish.
“I don’t hate you, Historia. On the contrary.”
“I’m sorry,” was all she could say.
He lifts her up, easily, like a child, making her wrap her legs around his hips. “Well, too bad you’re sorry, ‘cause I’m not,” he says as she clings to him.
—— AD - CONTINUE READING BELOW ——
Setting her down in front of the window, he wraps his arms around her from behind. They stand there, watching the sun appear on the horizon. You mustn’t count, Historia said to herself, you mustn’t count how many more sunrises you can watch together, because the number is so few it will depress you both.
“What do we do now, Eren?” she asks softly.
There is a long pause before he answers, “We’ll love each other, that’s what we’ll do.”
“And then?”
“And then I’ll watch over you from above, and you’ll go on to live a long and happy life.”
She turns around to face him, looks up into his eyes. “I can’t imagine life without you. I can’t stand the thought of being alone again,” she says, all the while hating herself. This was exactly what she had feared: that when they became lovers she would cling to him, refusing to let him go, making it harder for him to accept his fate.
Gazing up at his handsome face, she finds herself gasping softly. It was unmistakable: there was a strange look in his eyes, one she had never seen before. Eren was here in the room with her, his arms around her, but the mesmerizing eyes, for a fleeting moment, belonged to a different Eren, an Eren that had seen both the past and the future.
His green eyes as he smiles down at her were mysterious, knowing, ancient windows to the soul, portals to the wonders of the cosmos. “You know what, I don’t think you’ll ever be alone again, my queen.” And with that he cupped her face in his hands and bent his head to kiss her.
It was only a few years later that she learned exactly what he meant.
Eren continued to see Historia under the guise of memory retrieval. When he and his fellow soldiers had a meeting at the royal palace he’d make up an excuse to be alone with her. They had got very good at it: finding nooks and crannies to hide in, Eren standing up and carrying her effortlessly, petite and lightweight as she was, with her legs wrapped around his waist, and he’d take her up against the wall. When she knew he would visit she made sure not to wear anything cumbersome or heavy, nothing they couldn’t easily get out of the way of their coupling. When he climaxed he hid his face in her hair in hopes that his grunts of satisfaction would be muffled by the thick golden locks. She learned to stifle her cries of pleasure by pressing her lips against his shoulder. Sometimes it was so hard to keep quiet she’d bite into her lower lip and draw blood. This upset Eren, and he’d tell her, bite into my shoulder. I don’t want to cause you injury, she’d tell him. I heal so much faster than you, he’d say.
But their favourite times were, without a doubt, the stolen nights at her country home. Soldiers got two days of liberty every fortnight, and Eren would find some excuse to ‘volunteer’ time at the farm. The two of them would always make a show out of being regular comrades, just a soldier doing chores for his queen, keeping their distance from each other when anyone had them within their line of sight. Then he’d pretend to go home at the end of the day, but make his way back via a secret shortcut to spend the night with her.
Did her household staff know? Perhaps, but many of them were members of the Wall cult, a group who worshipped her family as deity. They kept their mouths shut out of loyalty and fealty, and when Historia went into hiding after she got pregnant, the staff actively covered for the couple without being asked. Did Armin or Jean or the rest of them have their suspicions about Eren’s frequent ‘disappearances’? Whatever they suspected, they kept it to themselves. Their precious titan shifter would always come back from these disappearing acts, and wasn’t that what really mattered, that he’d come back? Who were they to complain?
It was these nights at the cabin that Historia held her most precious memories. The palace quickies were incredible, but couldn’t hold a candle to a real bed, where they could luxuriate in each other’s arms. Eren liked to sleep with his face squashed against her breasts, and she’d hold him in her arms, stroking his head, running her fingers through his dark hair. Sometimes he would drape her naked body over his, like a blanket. When he was in a deep sleep she’d try to roll off of him, not wanting to crush him. But he’d reach out and pull her back up. “Aren’t I heavy?” she’d ask in a whisper. Chuckling with his eyes still closed, he’d say, “You’re featherweight, I could barely feel you on top of me.” And she’d sigh and indulge him.
At the beginning of their relationship the most precious part was getting to know one another.
—— AD - CONTINUE READING BELOW ——
“Do I please you, Historia?” he’d ask. “Does this feel good for you?”
She always returned the favour. “Do you like it when I do this, Eren? Or would you have me do this instead?”
Years later, when Historia looked back at their Age of Exploration, she would smile fondly in remembrance. How young they’d been, how delightful it was to discover and learn every little quirk your beloved had, the preferences they held, the uniqueness of their pleasure points.
It was during these sweet, tender nights in the afterglow of sex that they’d cuddle, and talk and talk. It was so easy, with each other, and only with. She’d seen him at his worst: transforming from a sanctimonious, self-righteous, preachy kid to a sniveling, self-pitying, whimpering, self-loathing young man inside the Reiss cave, but she refused to choose duty over him, instead she cared about him and saved him. She made him want to become a better man.
Eren, for his part, had seen her go from counterfeit Miss Congeniality, with a forced, gratingly positive personality to an unresponsive, uncaring, apathetic girl who couldn’t give a shit about anyone, including herself, and it was at that moment when she needed to hear it the most that he told her she was being honest and carried the good and bad inside herself, and he was fine by it. In fact, he liked it, seeing her being fully human, with a range of emotions. His acceptance of her helped her become who she wanted to be.
They admired each other, too, innately so. She admired and was even envious of his single-mindedness, the strength of his will. He admired her compassion for orphaned children and the destitute, the way she threw herself into charity work.
After all they’ve been through together, they could tell each other everything and anything, without fear of being misjudged or rejected.
Eren would share stories of his childhood, telling her all about his beloved mother, Carla, the foods she cooked for him, the games she’d sometimes play with him, the songs she’d sing to him.
“When I was a kid everyone in the neighborhood would say how much I looked like my mum, that I was a spitting image of her and as beautiful as her. Absolutely annoyed me! I mean, I was a boy! Wanted to look cool, not pretty. So I snapped at anyone who’d say those remarks in front of me or Mum. ‘I do not look like my mother,’ I’d growl, taking offence.”
“Armin told me Mrs Jaeger was the town beauty, that Hannes had quipped once how half the men in Shiganshina were in love with her, and were vying for her hand,” Historia mentioned.
“There’s truth to that, I guess. When her mother—my grandmother—was alive she told me men used to visit the tavern their family owned and where Mum used to work as a waitress before she got married. They made eating and drinking as excuses to gape at or flirt with her. After she got married and quit to raise a family, there was a drop in the number of regular customers, it seemed!”
“I wish I could’ve met her. She sounds lovely.”
“Yeah, she was. Wish I hadn’t been so hostile when people remarked about our resemblance. Now that I’m bigger and, hopefully wiser, I’d like to tell her, it’s an honor to look like you.”
He not only told her of his regrets, sometimes he’d tell her of his own insecurities and doubts, past and present.
“Really didn’t know what to make of Mikasa being adopted by Mum and Dad. They liked her from the very beginning, and would introduce her as their daughter or my sister to anyone and everyone. Couldn’t think of anything more annoying at the time. There were moments when I wanted to yell, ‘I’m your only child!’ when I felt they somewhat favoured her over me. You know Mikasa, perfect in everything she does. She’d do her share of the chores enthusiastically and do them so flawlessly she always made my work look sloppy.”
—— AD - CONTINUE READING BELOW ——
“When we were in the academy she told us girls once, that being adopted by the Jaegers was one of the happiest moments of her life,” Historia recalled.
“Yeah, I suppose so,” Eren said with a sigh. “One time Mum and Mikasa were doing embroidery on the porch and this neighbor came over and started praising Mikasa’s stitches. Such precision, such steady hands, she was saying. And then Dad came out, and she said to him, Dr Jaeger, your daughter has what it takes to become a surgeon, don’t you agree? Dad patted Mikasa on the head and smiled saying, she’s brave, clever, hardworking and far from queasy, so she’ll make a good surgeon. Mikasa was grinning up at him, looking so pleased. Saw it and was really pissed. I was like, you bloody goody-goody!”
“She was just really happy to be part of a good family once again,” Historia remarked.
“Yeah, I know. Looking back, guess I’d been rather petty, being annoyed with her all the time. I mean, Mum and Dad were being extra sweet and tender to her not because they liked her better than me, but because she was suffering from the loss of her parents and they wanted to comfort her.”
He told her things he couldn’t tell anyone else.
“Armin drives me nuts. Dunno why he refuses to consider an all-out military solution to the Eldian Problem. All he talks about is diplomacy and multilateral treaties and trade agreements and peace-making and all that useless shit.”
“The alternative is so horrific it’s difficult for anyone with a conscience to justify,” Historia remarked, a note of sadness in her voice.
“Did you know Armin goes to see Annie whenever he can? Talk of fraternising with the enemy! Must be Bertholdt controlling his heart or something!” Eren divulged, grimacing.
“No, I don’t think that’s true,” Historia shook her head vehemently. “Armin had a thing for Annie for the longest time, before he inherited the Colossus Titan. You just didn’t notice.”
“Because I was too preoccupied with killing all the titans?” he asked with a note of self-mockery.
Historia laughed softly, “Yeah, there’s that, I guess. You and Armin were the only ones Annie really ever talked to, in front of others. She seemed to be indifferent to everyone but the two of you. And she returned Armin’s feelings, too, remember? She easily killed her fellow soldiers, even gleefully so, but when she had the chance to kill Armin not once but twice, whilst attempting to steal you away, she spared his life, to her own detriment. From the enemy’s perspective, Armin with his intellect would be considered a dangerous asset deserving of unequivocal elimination. Annie compromised her mission by following her heart and letting him live. She’s far from stupid, so it was something else at work. We don’t choose whom we fall in love with, and that seems to be the case with her as well.”
“You’ve a point,” Eren conceded, sighing. “Can’t really confront him about the visits, either. I mean, he covers for me when I sneak out to see you.”
“Go easy on him, won’t you?” she pleaded. “It must be painful for him, having to hand over the girl he loves to the government, and then being haunted by her crystallised presence.”
Sometimes Eren would whine about his superiors.
“Commander Hange doesn’t seem to like me anymore. To think they used to go gaga over my mere existence as a titan shifter. Doubt they’ll ever forgive me for making Captain Levi choose to give the serum to Armin instead of Commander Erwin. Sometimes I feel like they quite openly despise me” or “Captain Levi’s making everyone drink tea these days, says it’s good for health and stuff. Don’t care for it at all! Doesn’t taste like anything to me.”
—— AD - CONTINUE READING BELOW ——
But Eren reserved his full loathing and hatred for anyone and everyone who were keen to titanize Historia. “Unbelievable. How dare they? How dare they?” he’d growl, the tremendous anger in his tone unmistakable, brows furrowed as he paced the room bristling with negative energy.
“Eren, come to bed,” was all Historia could say in times like these, their only means of comfort being the momentary respite in each other’s arms.
For her part, she’d tell him amusing stories of her courtiers and her royal duties and all the trials and tribulations of holding court. They’d giggle together, finding bits of enjoyment and entertainment in their day to day routines. Historia cherished these moments, the times when they relaxed in each other’s company and talked about nothing in particular, about matters so insignificant and mundane it was almost laughable. They both knew such ordinariness was not going to last and therefore ought to be savoured.
And nothing, nothing at all could compare to the moments when, before going to dreamland, Eren would cup her face in his hands and look deep into her eyes and say, “I love you, Historia.” She’d smile and stroke his cheek with a finger and say, “I love you, too, Eren.” They’d kiss goodnight and fall asleep, wrapped securely in each other’s arms.
After they decided to become pregnant, and Eren went ahead with his Liberio plan by going AWOL in Marley, they couldn’t see each other anymore. Those were the times when Historia would cry herself to sleep each night, worrying about him, wondering where he was and how he was feeling, if he was feeding and taking care of himself, whether he had the most basic of creature comforts. More than anything, the guilt tore at her from the inside: she knew Eren had gone to such extreme measures in order to protect her.
Historia could never forget that day when, during an important plenary meeting at the palace, it had been assumed that she would willingly sacrifice herself, titanize for the sake of the island. She readily accepted, because what else could she do? It was her family’s curse, something she was unable to run away from thanks to the blood that ran through her veins.
“I’ll do what needs to be done,” she’d said, already resigning herself to her inborn affliction.
But Eren wouldn’t have it. The look on his face that day, the angry, outraged timbre in his voice as he stood up in front of everyone and intoned that such a solution was completely unacceptable to him, was something that was etched in her memories, a moment she would remember with gratitude until the day she died. It was all she could do not to burst into tears.
Eren’s love for her was such that he’d sacrifice everything and everyone just so she wouldn’t have to sacrifice herself to her own children. For him, there was no horror greater than the thought of his anguished, wretched queen cursing her own precious child with the same horrific fate she and her ancestors had had to bear.
“I’m gonna put an end to it all,” he’d told her one night after they made love. He gazed into her eyes and informed her he will cut the ropes that bound her to this tragic fate.
When Historia finally learned of his plan, a plan he had kept from even his closest friends, she was not filled with hope but with an abject horror, an indescribable torment, a suffering so pervasive it brought her to the depths of despair.
“Got a better idea?” Eren had challenged her when she tearfully objected. But her mind completely betrayed her, coming up with nothing, nothing at all. She had been thinking and ruminating and having discussions about it for years and…nothing.
And so she accepted his plan, her heart breaking into a million pieces, made all the more painful with the knowledge that his heart was breaking, too.
Thank you so much for reading! Please take a moment to share a thought or two in the comment section below. Your comments give me life and are a real source of encouragement. xoxo, hana
Next – Chapter 5: Take All Of Me
Back – Chapter 3: Pleasure and Pain
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Woooow this fic made me feel sooo much! Historia would definitely push Eren away and I see him being annoyed at her for that. Especially when he knew deep down what she really felt 🙁 it was nice seeing her finally be super honest and breaking down but I loved the way he handled it. I loved the scene when she saw him in the morning and was so self deprecating and Eren jusr came and cured her anxiety once again. It was so cute and well written! You do an amazing job on writing my favourite ship. I’m so glad I found this
I’m so grateful! Along with jeankasa and eruri, erehisu is my fav ship. I also love niccosha, so after you finish reading this story I hope you’ll read my tribute to them 🙂
There have been very few direct interactions between Eren and Historia in the manga, but every one of them was super-charged (in my opinion, at least, ahaha!). The cave incident was one of the best arcs in the manga, just my ultimate favourite when it comes to building up their relationship. It started from there and ended with their child together, in my head. Even in that cave they were no-holds barred in their brutal honesty. That’s what I love about the two of them: the way they can say anything to each other and be accepting all the while.
I remember when Eren went ahead and told her he didn’t like her Krista persona, even if all the other boys seemed to love it, but that he loved the new, frank Historia, even when it made others uncomfortable. And then when she was doing charity work for children, he reminded her that once upon a time she said she didn’t care if the entire world burned, as long as she could save him. All of these just shows me that there is more to their relationship that what meets the eye. It’s a relationship built on trust and most important of all, complete honesty. *That* is what a good relationship should be like, not one built upon lies and misplaced shyness and the inability to speak the truth.
Oh Veraaaa, *I* am also extremely glad you found this story! It’s always so lovely to have a fellow manga fan be rooting for the world’s most dangerous couple! It makes me feel less alone<3
EH is my favourite AoT ship! And then NiccoSasha & Eruri! I will definitely look into your other works as well ? you are very talented.
Yes I absolutely agree! They don’t have many interactions on screen but EACH and everyone is meaningful. Isayama is a true genius & although Historia seemed like a typical cute character in the beginning she became so important for Eren and when she saved him- it changed so much for him. Isayama even mentioned himself that it was Historia that brought him from the depths of dispair. I agree- it was a really good arc. Finally, eren realized he wasn’t that special & exactly what it meant to have the world on your shoulders like that. It made me sad seeing how Paradis treated him, as a weapon. And I think he realized in that moment how he was truly trapped. Historia freed herself from her fathers grasp in front of him, the very embodiment of freedom in front of him. It was natural he’d fall in love!! I can’t believe how many people refuse to see this. After YMir, eren is the only one she spoke to honestly and truthfully and he holds her dear. That honesty and acceptance is exactly why he sought her out for his plan. That scene in 130 just seemed like a total confession for me ? how do you think he responded to her asking that question about having a baby? A part of me believes they were dating prior To that ..
Yes when he told her he liked Historia it truly relieved her of her anxiety. He saved her then and she returned the favour. It was interesting to me too that he was watching her enough in the scouts to see that she had on a facade and didn’t seem natural. Like he always knew the truth about her .. they didn’t have any canon interactions before uprising. Well I’m sure they spoke, but not in the manga. He always saw her for who she truly was and was there when her mask crumbled. It’s a honest and healthy relationship. That’s why I can never ship Mikasa and Eren. It’s too one sided
And felt toxic.. like she was forcing her feelings on Eren without ever being direct? Also she never listened to him but everyone else. Zackly says he’s being controlled, she believes it. He tells her she’s free, she ignores it. Reiner tells her eren wants to be stopped, she accepts it. It’s like somewhere along the way she forgot to be her own person! And true detachment is what she needs.. I get the PTSD and having her world revolve around Eren but I just can’t see it as something healthy especially when you see Eren and Historia and see how natural, unbound and comfortable he is. He doesn’t joke with anyone else like that! And she blushed. How cute ? their too precious. There is much more to this pairing than meets the eye for sure! Now will Yams deliver to us or not in the last chapter is definitely highly anticipated, I mean the foreshadowing is just *chefs kiss*
Aww I’m so glad to find another fellow EH!! It makes me so happy. Glad to have met you 🙂 I’ll definitely be keeping up.
OMG I agree with everything you just said! As you pointed out, early in the manga all the boys had a crush on Krista but it was only Eren who saw that she was putting on a face. Once she decided to be her real Historia self, it was Eren who first told her that he likes her true, honest face better than the made up one. I can’t express enough how much I loved that scene of them telling each other what they *really* think.
You’re absolutely right, whenever Eren is with Historia he does seem relaxed and happy! He jokes with her, teases her, all of it in canon. Whatever Isayama decides to end his story with, I’ll always love this scene of erehisu. Eren was being chased by Mikasa, Historia by 104th Ymir, but they both grow and evolve and end up together. Eren loved Mikasa as a person, and so did Historia with Ymir. But it’s when erehisu comes together that the universe becomes whole again. I see erehisu as being able to love each other without diminishing all the love that others have given them. In fact, their love is built upon all that love as well as the love from their ancestors, and these strong foundations are precisely what makes their love so strong and true and written in the stars. For me, this is the epitome of a beautiful relationship, the kind of love story I adore! Who cares if it’s all in my head? xD
Re: Mikasa. It’s a real pity that Isayama chose to make her a barnacle for the entirety of the manga. I am truly sick and tired of female characters being written as mere appendages to the male protagonist. It’s sickening, it’s infuriating. He not only made her utterly pathetic by giving her only a single vocabulary (“Ereh”) but also now (as per Ch138) turned her into a disgusting necrophile. Mikasa as a character had so much potential to evolve and change and be a true heroine, not a tragic figure. I’m totally disappointed with the way Isayama has handled her character (non)development.
Anyway, I “fixed” her in my head via my fanfic novela, War and Reminisces: The Jean Kirschtein Chronicles. Fixed as in I made her grow up, release herself from the shackles of her psychotic obsession with Eren, and learn to see the world in a whole new way. She’s the Mikasa of my dreams (well, Jean’s dreams to be more precise xD): someone not just physically strong but also emotionally strong, a fully-fledged adult. She overcomes her tendency to merely follow orders and becomes a bona fide leader and mentor. She opens her heart and is able to openly and deeply love someone other than Eren. She becomes an amazing mother. But none of these come easily, of course. I made sure I didn’t turn her into a Mary Sue type of character. Mary Sues are boring and predictable and unrelatable. The Mikasa in my head is deeply flawed and intensely vulnerable, but that doesn’t keep her from standing on her own two feet, learning to think for herself and be her own person.
So, no matter what happens in canon, I’m good, thanks 😉
Yes exactly! Eren saw straight through her facade. He obviously noticed her as all the other boys in the 104th did, but he thought she was too weak and looked down on her. Her face when he told her he found her creepy made me laugh so hard. But when the true Historia came up, Jean said she wasn’t acting like her ‘Krista self’, Armin was shaken by her demanding nature at the orphanage etc. The real Historia wasn’t the waifu that all the boys adored but, adored by one boy for being selfish and honest. Eren! Ahh that chapter was SO good. I’m upset WIT studios decided to butcher it and reduce it to a simple kitchn scene when it was set soo much more intimately (spent a night together in that cabin). But thankfully I have your fanfics and the manga so I too am good 😉
“I see erehisu as being able to love each other without diminishing all the love that others have given them. In fact, their love is built upon all that love as well as the love from their ancestors, and these strong foundations are precisely what makes their love so strong and true and written in the stars” HOW BEAUTIFULLY SAID!! Ahh, this is exactly how i feel but had a hard time putting it into words. They take pieces of others important in their life and use it to drive their own love, and become stronger for it. Not to mention, their understanding is the most healthiest in the whole show. I have never seen more alike characters before. Ymir loved Krista, but when Historia finally surfaces she abandoned her to repay her debt. She couldnt be the bad ‘girl’ for Historia, she wanted to keep her good girl act and felt like she had no choice but to repay her debt. she was a amazing character. Only Eren chose to be the bad ‘guy’ for Hisu, he refused to sacrifice her. Even if it meant something horrible. I think, for me anyways, If Eren was fighting for his family and child – it would justify his actions a bit. i mean, ofcourse genocide is NOT OK, but as a human, wanting to protect you family is understood. I think, it fleshes him out a bit more and helps us understand his drive to protect the freedom of those he loves. As it stand now, he is NOT free and what he’s doing is because of the people he loves and the island that bore him. Ah, my heart just beats for EH, their so precious and im constantly thinking about them. I need more reads *_* Do you have any other fav ffnets you read and like? :p Me too, its the epitome of a beautiful romance and trust me its not in your head!! There are so many like us who LOVE the pairing. King and Queen, Destruction Regeneration, devil, apple!
oh good! You did read 138, I mentioned wanting to discuss it with you in another comment. So, I think that chapter wrapped up her arc exactly as I thought it would. Keeping her a deranged, delulu till the end. It was her desire but it was NOT Erens. I feel like the people who say it was Erens are CONFUSED. Did we read the same AoT? I think not. It was inline with the character Yams drew of her, in the way it was a perfect way to end her character arc. tragic until the very end.. couldnt they have chose to draw the kiss in her mind – in the place they ran away? make it look a bit better? Nope, yams decided to draw it in the most gruesome way YET people are romanticizing it. The EM shippers, are beyond desperate. it boggles my mind how they can prefer a toxic, one sided romance to something healthy and mutual like EreHisu.
OU no way! I would love to read a fic with a more fleshed out and dynamic mikasa who isnt simply a barnacle :p I will check that out now and as always leave some comments for you. Mikasa really did have potential so THANK YOU for delivering some wholsome JeanKasa and making them have some mutual understanding. You live for yourself first and foremost – not to progress another person!
Oh Vera! I agree with everything you just wrote, especially about that romanticising part. I mean, obviously people have preferences (necrophilia being one of them, needless to say). But I can’t help but cringe at the way Miss Barnacle chose to finally kiss Eren: *after* his head had been severed. She basically snogged a corpse! Honestly, I felt sick to my stomach reading that chapter and had to stay in the bathroom for a while feeling like I’d throw up any minute. And yet, and yet! Some readers still found the entire gruesome scene sweet and romantic! Can you imagine? Can you believe? As the saying goes, whatever gets you through the night, I guess! xD
Having said that, however, I’m very ambivalent about how the manga will end. If I remember correctly, Isayama has mentioned in an interview that his masterpiece is not just some tropey love story, so I hope he’ll stick to that resolution and not give in to the pressure to make eremika happen. I’d very much prefer a The Mist film kind of ending, tbh. Anyway, as I’ve said many times before, it’s his story and he can bloody well do as he pleases. It’s take it or leave it for us fans now. I’m prepared to leave (meaning I won’t read anything he ever writes again) anytime, honestly.
As for other fanfics, I used to read a lot of eruri yaoi stuff (on AO3, pixiv, toranoana, etc) back in the day. I made a list of my fav erehisu resources, have you seen? No other English-language stories there, though, apart from what I have. Sorry.
Nowadays I don’t read much fanfic, instead I’m reading tons of novels, as in properly published works. One of my favourite authors ever is a Canadian, Margaret Atwood. I’ve read nine of her novels so far, and am now working my way through a poetry collection and also a non-fiction piece. I adore Atwood with every atom of my being! If only I could write a story like hers (I love all her works but my ultimate favs are Blind Assassin and the MaddAddam trilogy), I’d die happy! People sometimes ask me my fav heroine in modern literature and the definite answer is Toby in the trilogy! And my fav couple *ever* are Zeb and Toby, I love them to pieces and if only I could write about a couple like them then (again) I will die happy! Ah!!! Imagine being able to die happy! xD
At the same time I’m reading a bunch of manga (Jujutsu Kaisen is a current fav) and about half-a-dozen novels by other authors. I like to read several works all at once, it’s crazy how I pretend to be good at multitasking xD Again, sorry I don’t have any other erehisu piece to recommend 🙁
Oh God Hana have you seen the ending ??? have you read the whole thing? I lost my mind when I read it. I couldn’t believe it. It was absolutely the worse to have happened and EreMika became canon but at what damn cost. I’m honestly still mad, I vented a lot on Twitter. And lost my crap there lol but now I’ve cooled off. What were your thoughts ? I am so thankful for your EH stories. I’m sure many authors don’t see the appeal anymore which makes me sad since I do love EH still. Ah I’m starting to feel better after I read fan made endings lol.
Also ahhhh I love Margaret Atwood as welll!! She’s Canadian( like me), I’ve had to read her in school but she’s very talented indeed. I should check out your fav book because I myself am trying to get back into writing & so reading more and more will help for sure. What are your other favourites to read?
Also, do you have a discord? I’d love to chat more with you. 🙂 INLOVE JJK TOO!! I only watched the anime though. Haven’t read the manga yet
Vera! So glad to see you here once again. I shared my thoughts on the final chapter in the Comments section of The Storyteller: Chapter 7.
AoT has been completely ruined for me. Eren’s childish, insanely selfish outburst made me cringe and cringe and cringe. That’s not true love. True love is when you wish someone well, when you pray for their happiness, with or without you. Instead of becoming one of the GOAT on my list, Isayama reduced what would have been his masterpiece into a trite shonen manga wherein the protagonist realizes his (toxic, toxic) love for the heroine only at the very end of the story. *Barf* From now on I won’t touch an Isayama work with a ten-foot pole!
You had to read Atwood in school? That’s wonderful, I envy you! I’ve read (nearly) every book in her catalogue but I wish someone told me about her sooner. I only got to know about her after Hulu’s TV adaptation of the Handmaid’s Tale, which led me to read everything Atwood I could get my hands on.
As for other fav authors, OMG there are so many! Off the top of my head: Natsume Soseki, Yukio Mishima, Philip K Dick, Hilary Mantel, Philip Roth, Amitav Ghosh, Sarah Waters, Yasunari Kawabata, VS Naipaul, Ryunosuke Akutagawa, Christopher Priest, Ursula K Le Guin… I’m sure I missed someone, I should make a proper list! But for each of the authors above I’ve read at least three of their books and loved them, so they easily make it to my Fav List.
Next to Atwood, there are two other authors whose entire catalogue I’ve read: Kazuo Ishiguro and Elizabeth Strout. I love them so much I could reread their works over and over, and every time I learn something new, something touching or mind blowing that makes me go, why didn’t I notice this the first time? I’ve underlined so many phrases and paragraphs of their novels that they look more like coloring books xD
Right now I’m doing a re-read of Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel. The BBC TV adaptation introduced me to her, and I just can’t get over how amazing and masterful the book is. If only I could write with just a tenth of her talent!
Sorry but I don’t do the fanboards or chats or other online communities anymore. I used to be on reddit and 4ch and other places but not after I got out of uni. You can DM me on Instagram (Lately I post there everyday, just silly stuff, though) or email me. You can also comment anywhere on my blog and I’ll get to read/reply to it for certain 🙂
I think it’s good for us to take a step back from AoT for the time being. Let’s distract ourselves with other (better) stuff first, and then perhaps someday we can go back and re-evaluate the manga (Don’t expect me to stop despising Isayama, though, no matter the number of years that fly by xD).
Jujutsu Kaisen’s anime adaptation is one of the best (if not the best) I’ve ever seen. It’s faithful to the manga and adds just the right amount of original spice. It’s next to perfect, really. I wish I could lend you my tankobon paperback volumes (but they’re in Japanese and also, you’re an ocean away!). I’m in love with all the characters there right now and I’m doing a lot of mulling over them during my commute. I’d love to do a Gojo-Geto story one of these days!
What about you, Vera? Anything interesting you’ve been reading or seeing lately (aside from *that* blasted failure of a manga)?
PS. Forgot to mention, if you like NiccoSasha I hope you’ll read my tribute story to them, Taste Test. It also has erehisu on the side 🙂
I haven’t published any of my eruri smut fanfics yet, but there’s a multi-chapter story about them I wrote called Bladesmiths and Librarians. It’s part of a novela but can be read as a separate, self-contained story. There’s no smut but more like a tribute romance<3
NiccoSasha with a side of EREHISU? Say no more. I will read it now too!! Haha i do like my smut but nothing is better than a heartfelt romance with some good dialogue. Something you are phenomenal with. 🙂 I’ll note this one down too! Will come around to it on the weekend! woohooo
Beautiful story, Hana. I feel fortunate having found your blog, your EreHisu fics. A lovely interpretation of the real manga. I just love this pairing, and you are giving me what I more love of this relationship: its depth, which we find from this chapter ahead (or I hope so).
Plus, I’d love to see Historia slapping Eren, as hard as she could. Why? I don’t know. Just because he knocked her out and had her to feel so ashamed in first and second chapter. I think it’s right.
Thank you so much for the kind words! You made my day❤ I’ve greatly enjoyed the dramatic and deep fan interpretations of erehisu: I think many of us are hopeless romantics, and we’d like to see these two beautiful suffering people find comfort and strength in each other’s arms.
I actually wasn’t an erehisu shipper at the beginning, as I personally shipped Eren with Jean (yeah, I’m a BL fanatic xD) and Hisu with Ymir (no longer possible, sadly). I’ve long ago given up on those ships in canon, of course (Isayama may be progressive but not *that* progressive, ahaha!), but since canon Jean is crazy for Mikasa it became natural for me to ship erehisu. Exploring the logic, sagacity and beauty of this coupling has been very enjoyable for me as a writer. I was encouraged by erehisu shippers who have paired them from early on, and I’m glad I let myself be influenced❤
As for Hisu slapping Eren, I remember her hitting his head inside the Reiss cave, and calling him a crybaby. They have such an interesting dynamic xD
poor hisu! 🙁 it broke my heart how she had a mental breakdown after waking up, poor girl carries so much pain inside her!
on the other hand, it’s good that eren was there to calm her <3 i loved how they both could finally confess their feelings for each other! <3 i’m eager to see how the story continues!! <3
ps. you gave very good reasons to why eren couldn’t trust armin, in fact i never *really* thought about it. how could it affect future plans that armin was literally in love with the enemy, but anywaysssss i still love the aruani hahaha xD
poor mikasa! eren’s parents simply wanted to make her feel better after the traumatic events that happened to her at such a young age and eren was all jealous xD but i can understand him because he was an only child and out of nowhere having to share everything with mikasa who is literally perfect in everything she does, i would also feel coy
and speaking abt the veterans, especially hange, my heart broke when i watched how their relationship deteriorate over time, literally aged like milk. (i think my most used phrase to describe my relationship with snk is “broke my heart” xD)
Me, too, I think aruani is great and I’m glad they get a happy ending. Now if only Isayama-sensei will give us our jeankasa and erehisu happy endings! I mean, if he goes along those lines then everyone (well, not everyone, I mean you and me!) will be happy. But I guess that’s precisely why he won’t: he’s bent on a bittersweet ending so I’m sure he’ll make someone (or two or three) die in the end 🙁
Thanks, glad you enjoyed my children scene. My line of thinking is that Eren never hated Mikasa as a child. He was jealous of her perfection, but he never had a reason to hate her. I want to share with you a part I removed from this chapter because it disrupted the flow of the narrative, but it fleshes out a bit more about Eren’s puzzlement regarding Mikasa:
—[Part where Eren shares his thoughts with Historia]—
—
I removed it because aside from being disruptive of flow it also felt like me just wanting to push my jeankasa agenda xD
IKR! One of the reasons Hange’s death has been so painful for me was that they never had that one final convo with Eren 🙁 You know how much I love Hange. I keep on wishing they’d meet in Paths and have a talk xD But from a plot perspective, I’m glad that there are fissures and frictions and all kinds of minor antagonisms amongst the characters. It makes the story so much more real and visceral.
Re: having one’s heart broken. OMG I totally get you! You and I are a pair of masochistic bitches! That’s why we keep on coming back to the canon manga and getting our hearts broken every chapter xD
omg! thank you for sharing this part with me, it means a lot to me <3
i understand you with wanting to push the jeankasa agenda, i do the same with my friend (she is also a jean stan but not a jeankasa shipper, i’m on my way to turn her into one! xD)
you’re right, we’re a couple of masochistic bitches xD we always end up going back to the story that causes us so much pain xD
Ah, I know all about being a Jean stan but not a jeankasa shipper! I didn’t ship them for the longest time, I always thought Eren was best for Jean (in my dreams, hah!). Canon Mikasa is like a piece of barnacle stuck to Eren and she gives me no hope at all when it comes to jeankasa. So I just kept on hoping that Jean would lose interest in her and find someone who actually likes him.
It was that railroad scene when Eren told his friends he cared for them and Jean was all Mikasa-you-must-not-titanize that I realised he was still in love with her (I was right, as we saw in that later chapter where he fantasises about having a kid with her). Anyway, after that railroad convo I started writing jeankasa for myself, to make myself feel better.
I totally understand Jean because I’m a pro at unrequited love, I mean, it’s actually my specialty (ahaha!) so I thought, maybe real life sucks and I can’t make [insert some IRL hot person I like] fall in love with me, but I can certainly make jeankasa happen in fanfic. That’s when I started writing the Jean Chronicles 🙂 I love him so much I’ll give him anyone, anyone at all! xD
Thank you so much, Myri! One of the joys of publishing a daily chapter is seeing your comments every day <3 You give me so much strength and encouragement. Love you lots!
I've been debating with myself about who says the three magic words first. In my previous erehisu story it was Historia, so this time I made it Eren. The thought that we might never see those words uttered in canon is too sad and pitiful and miserable for me, so I make them say it here instead xD
omfg wish yams makes this real in canon its the one reason ill understand why erens doing what hes doing itll make a ton of sense i mean if i had a kid who has to go through this ill destroy the world if thats the only way they wont have to
Oh Krissy! Me, too, this is my greatest wish (apart from jeankasa, of course!). I don’t know what I’ll do if Isayama goes ahead and becomes a cruel killjoy, killing Hisu during childbirth and making the farmhand the dad, and the baby in the final panel being baby Eren or Grisha or perhaps Founder Ymir instead of Hisu’s baby. I mean, Isayama is capable of all this and more. He has the ability to troll us all and I’m never going to be ready! xD
aaaagghhhhh annieeeeeeee poor girl this so true so true it hurts falling in love w the enemy must be the worst kind of self-torture reminds me of stories wherein people fall for the wrong people as in wrong race wrong clan wrong religion wrong whateves n have to pay the price
Have you seen the film The Lovings? It completely broke my heart, really ripped it to pieces. Also I keep on being reminded of that amazing book by Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things about an Indian couple that crossed caste lines and had to suffer for it in indescribable ways.
At least aruani are still both alive and have every chance to be together! I’m sure they’ll get a happy ending. So envious of them especially because my ships are going nowhere! xD
ugh dunno why but this made me cry exactly why theyre so right for each other
IKR! Mr & Mrs Evil, partners-in-crime, Bonnie & Clyde, [insert name of criminal couples in literature here]. They’re perfect for each other and I can’t think of any other pairing that’s so utterly meant to be in AoT (next to jeankasa and eruri, of course xD)
This chapter reminds me of details that could be explored in canon. Eren had reasons to say he hated Mikasa, to not trust Armin, to pull away from his friends, to talk back to his superiors. The way you’ve spun what (might’ve) happened off-screen was brilliant. You excel in making the readers sympathize with the worst couple in the world.
Thank you for being a wonderful and punctual author. I really love your writing. Keep going!
Thank you so much, Sara! Your comment means the world to me, telling me what I’m writing does make sense and someone wonderful out there will get what I’m trying to do. I often feel like no one gives a shit about Historia and a lot of people are just content to attack her character, which makes me feel really alone because I love her for reasons so hard to express. I’m trying, here on this blog, and it feels a lot like I’m screaming into the void, but then you share your thoughts and I feel heard and understood. Thank you!
There are so many unanswered questions in the canon story right now so I am just keeping my fingers crossed that Isayama won’t rush the ending, that he’ll take his time tying up all the loose ends. Eren’s cruel words to his friends were obviously lies, and he knew he was lying but he still went ahead to upset and antagonise them. There’s this flashback panel in the manga (I forgot which chapter) where Grisha is patting Mikasa on the head and she looks so happy while Eren is next to her looking pissed, and I grabbed onto that and wrote a backstory. Eren might have been annoyed with Mikasa as a kid, but he never hated her. As for Armin, he knows he’s not being manipulated by Bert because he himself isn’t being manipulated by the past holders of this titans, yet he lied to him, made him question his actions. Why? I’ll be expounding on it in the final chapter and answering my own question. Honestly, I’m terrified of Isayama’s canon answer so I’m desperately writing mine for when the time comes that I’ll have to say goodbye to the manga because I can’t take the sadness anymore xD
As for the worst couple in the world, in my head I call them “Mr & Mrs Evil” ala that Brangelina movie xD I love them to bits, though (erehisu, not Brangelina!), and I’m glad in a perverse, masochistic way that Isayama is giving us such interesting characters to work with <3
Thank you once again for the kind words. I can't express enough how much I appreciate them. Two more chapters to go! Please don't leave me midway and break my needy heart!